Being well spoken and eloquent

Over the last eight years I have lived a journey I never knew I would experience. Learning a new language and living it is an experience which is ongoing and exciting. Although I can be very proud of my accomplishments to this point I certainly can not say that I am well spoken or eloquent when speaking in Spanish. This very idea has caused some slight issues over the last couple years . I am currently at an interesting point in my Spanish abilities. Where I can converse quiet fluently but there are still times that I may say something wrong which doesn't quite translate my feelings or emotions. Luckily most people I am in contact with know me well and know my heart and are able to "translate" my feelings and thought through what I have actually said. The problem comes in when the person I am speaking to doesn't know me well or wishes to use my words to their own personal use.
I am currently a teacher in a preschool/primary and a co-pastor at our church. My calling is to lead and instruct, to care and love, to guide and teach. Most of this calling is being done in Spanish. Many times the enemy has entered in and said, " How on earth do think you can do this. You are not even from here. You don't understand these people. They are saying things that you don't really get. You are only going to confuse them."  Etcetera, Etcetrea, I could go on for half a page with all the crap he tells me.
 I loved speech class in high school. It was one of the only classes I got good grades in. That and sciences. Even though I was a rebel child and was extremely disinterested in school, speech class was one of the highlights of my day. Any job I held since the age of 15 I was told I was a great communicator. That I was able to get my thoughts across and people could understand me well. As a nurse I worked a lot with the teaching aspect to instruct and teach and again I was often praised for a job well done.
All this to say that in my 30's God placed me in multiple positions of teaching and leading which I had to do in a second language. There have been times when I wanted to be like Moses in Exodus 4 and say.10Then Moses said to the LORD, "Please, Lord, I have never been eloquent, neither recently nor in time past, nor since You have spoken to Your servant; for I am slow of speech and slow of tongue." or  13But he said, "Please, Lord, now send the message by whomever You will." But any time I did start to slack off and let someone else speak for me a hunger rose up in me. I felt an urge to express the love or encouragement in the way God gave me to do it. Here is the thing, God can always find someone else, as he found Aaron for Moses, to do what he has asked you to do. But he has asked you to do it because he needs your stamp on  it. 
So when God speaks and says. 11The LORD said to him, "Who has made man's mouth? Or who makes him mute or deaf, or seeing or blind? Is it not I, the LORD? 12"Now then go, and I, even I, will be with your mouth, and teach you what you are to say."  Then I say ok Lord I will go. But how many times do I fail, and stumble. It is still such a struggle and a punch to my pride that I can not be well spoken and eloquent in my speech. OHHHH!!! There it is my friends. God uses the our weakest parts for his work so that all the glory can be his, as it should be.
I was recently reminded of the importance of this when listening to a well known prophet speak. His name is thrown around often in our church meetings and to be honest I had never really listened to one of his sermons. The other day a friend of mine sent me one because it was speaking about a word I had recently received. As I listen to it I realized that he was a horrible speaker. This makes me laugh out loud because he speaks in his native language (English). I tell you this not to say I was judging him but just that without meaning to I had my speech teachers checklist in my head and he was flunking. And this was when God steeped in and said, " Your right, but he impacts millions of lives every day, he reveals my love and intentions for people using his gifting and using it in the way I see fit. And even though you feel like you have been failing people in your manner of speaking in Spanish, you are reaching their souls in a way no other can." Yep I'm crying now even typing this. My Papi has such a beautiful way of speaking to me. And the point in writing this blog is so that any of you who doubt what you are called to do just because you were not trained or raised to do it, my hope is that i can encourage you to stay steady. Don't be like Moses in this aspect. Trust God to give you your words and speak through your mouth. Don't wait around until he sends an Aaron. 
It is true that if you wait for your Aaron he will still reach hearts just like he did with Moses but it wont be the same. He wants you, he wants your weakness, he wants your errors, he wants your relationship. God taught me a lot about pride in my 20's and when he brought me to Mexico my pride was broke into tiny little pieces because had I held onto it I would have been broken into a million pieces. And even though I let it go, it still tries to peak its ugly little head in from time to time and say, " How silly you look, How silly you sound." And this is when I lean back on my Papi and say, " Let my words be your words, let your feelings be represented and not mine. Speak through me and let your message be clearly received." 
So now it is time to continue another week, to go and minister, with a microphone in front of at least 60-70 people in our evening service, to let the Spirit of Christ himself speak through my mouth. To guide children and to love them, to speak life into my coworkers, and express His love. And most of all to do all of this with confidence. Confidence in part in my self because if God says I can I am doubting him by saying I cant. And confidence in the Holy Spirit that he will guide me in all knowledge. 
So if you are doubting your calling or your gifting that may be a good sign. But what action you take next is the real key. Are you going to do as Moses and argue with God about it or are you going to say, " If you say so, I will walk in that." 

After 6 years

My last trip to Missouri was in October 2009 when my oldest was three and the middle one was only 6 months old. That’s insane!!!!!! But really it was necessary on so many accounts. First of all I think I needed the isolation from the states to help with the culture adjustments. I still remember the day I read Leslies blog when she said she hadn’t been back to the states for over five years and that she didn’t really miss it all that much anymore. I remember thinking I want that, I’m sick of comparing, I’m ready to be “at home” in Mexico. It’s not like I planned it really but I do remember reading that and thinking that. Then when my middle child was less than two years old number three popped out. (She really did just pop out, labor was less than four hours).  I had my hands full with little ones and the time just flew by. I started working, and really vacations time and money are two things that just don’t line up to often. About year four after my last visit I was just too nervous to try to travel alone with all three girls. The time I went before honestly it was a nightmare with a three year old and a six month old. Then there was the whole Canada fiasco. We were thinking maybe we should get there first and then it will be easier to visit.

 Ok so that is the end of all my excuses. I always feel like I have to give them because when I tell people I haven’t visited my family in six years I get dagger eyes from them. Once someone was giving a prophetic word to me about Lily and they said that she will do missions, but that it would be short term missions and that her heart and home would always be in Mexico with her mom and dad”. Then they added, “Unlike yours which flew the coop and never looked back.” It made me laugh because I hadn’t even told them yet how long it had been. 

So, the last couple months have been filled with a crazy roller coaster of emotions. God has shown me many images and I’ve had countless dreams about things that will go on while I’m there. So many things that right now seem impossible. I can’t quite figure out the logistics of how theywill happen. But over and over He has proven to be right when he speaks to me in this way so I have believed. Also fear has entered about being in the airport and going through customs with less than a two hour layover and three kids. Later I get excited because someone sets up a date where I will get to see them and hug them. And I remember how excited I am to see all the people I love and who have supported me in all this time. Then I remember that I hardly even go to the grocery store with all three girls and without my husband. Oh crap Im going to a different country with them and without him, WHAT WAS I THINKING!!!!! My sister then sends me a message about her vacation time and I start to relax and think about morning chatting over coffee and spiritual discussions. This makes me start thinking about how most of my family lives in the country and my girls are such city kids and I’ll have to be on top of them the whole time. So basically this is how I have been for a couple months now. Really this is just a small peak inside the insanity.

But guess what my Father God doesn’t want this insanity going on inside my head. He wants peace, patience, and good thoughts. He reminded me of that this weekend in our prayer service. I received word after word form people I hadn’t discussed any of this with. And of course He spoke directly to me covering me with a blanket of His love. He reminded me that he is so much bigger than all that other stuff. He reminded me that if He can stop a freaking hurricane from blowing up Mexico then he can help us get through customs without stress. He reminded me that I have given and continue to give my girls and their safety to Him on a daily basis. He gave me peace in my heart that even as I now write all those things above I laugh at them. I know that they are nothing compared to my Daddy in heaven. That the entire time the Holy Spirit will be there giving me, and my girls, His wisdom and His knowledge. And even now as I write he tells me he wants to heal people even in the airport. That this can be a mission trip and it makes me so happy and calm.

Now we get to the fun part. Now I am planning without fear. I am overly excited. I have gifts for my friends and family members. I have checked our suit cases to be sure we have enough. We are in the process of getting our consent letter printed and notarized. And the tickets have been ready for quite some time now. So here is and image of what we will look like in just 4 weeks and three days. My girls are going to be baffled by all that we see and do. SO EXCITING!!!!!!!

                                                                                         

Self Evaluation... Dun dun dun!!!

Self-Evaluation

Ok I need you to imagine the dooms day music in a movie that happens just before something huge happens. Dun dun dun dun….Here it comes… its gona happen… its inevitable!!!!!

BOO!!!!

Oh well that wasn’t so bad after all.

This is how many of us feel when it comes to self-evaluation. We sometimes view it as low self-esteem or being to self-critical. But really that is just an excuse to not do it. Why are we so turned off by the fact of reviewing our own actions and yet criticizing others comes so easy. Personally I believe there are a few reasons. These same reasons are behind many of our more complicated questions. One is due to our past, broken hearts, lies spoken over us, decisions we have made about who we are ext. The second is that there is a very clear spiritual war going on. The enemy (well my enemy anyway) knows that if we all turned our critical eyes away from others and made it constructive towards ourselves then his job in this war would be so much harder.  The last and most common are simply because we are lazy. It’s easier to point out someone else’s errors because we then don’t have to do the work to fix it. I say all this as we and us because I still do not consider myself to have taken hold of this concept 100%. This is why I’m writing about it. The subject has come up in a few studies I’ve been at which causes me to always analyze what the Spirit is trying to do in the church as a whole. (This is so I can intercede, another blog all together)

Christian or not you should always be looking for ways to improve yourself. Those who say they have nothing they can change for the better someone that will be stuck in a very sad place in their life. We should never stop learning be it for our jobs, how to be parents, how to love our spouses, how to drive better, or whatever you do every day. The point is that biblical principles apply to all whether you believe or not. They are laws set forth since the beginning of time by the One True God and there is no escaping it. This is why so many religions have the same opinions on many things. The biblical principle which gives the basis to this post is to work on your issues and try not to focus so much on everyone else’s issues. This topic ties in pretty closely with what I wrote a few weeks ago. But today I want to go more in depth on the idea of constant self-evaluation.

First off how is this going help me in my daily life? If you are evaluating yourself, often times you see changes you need to make before anyone else notices. Then if it is brought up to you it’s something you have already come to accept and maybe have even looked for solutions. Let me give you an example. Last Sunday one of the things mentioned by our Pastor Gaby was signs of a sleeping heart (you can see the sermon we were discussing here :________________). One of these signs was if you get offensive when a leader gives you constructive criticism.  When I heard this I said, “Oh I receive criticism from my leaders well.” And God said, “At church maybe yes, but is this true at your work?” Ugggg and as always he started showing me times that I had gotten offensive with my coordinators and bosses. “Ok Father, I know you don’t show me these things to make me feel bad. So I receive them and I ask you why did I react that way?”  We had a nice conversation for a few days about this. I even expressed it at a study that we have on Tuesdays. (Confession is a huge tool towards breaking walls of misunderstanding between your heart and your Spirit). So by Wednesday morning I had in mind some things I needed to change about my methods in the class room and the way I would respond to my bosses in the face of criticism. And low and behold guess what happened Wednesday at 1:30. I got called into a meeting regarding a teaching method I had use. It’s never easy to receive correction but I can tell you that the meeting didn’t hurt because it was a confirmation of all that I had already gone through with God. It was pretty cool because everything that was brought up was things that God had already discussed with me and I had already made decisions on how to change. I received what all they had to say, expressed that I agreed with them and explained how I plan to change it. Lastly I asked for and accepted suggestions, and most of all received their suggestions. Although God spoke into my life this doesn’t mean that he hasn’t put people in my path to do so also. These people have years and years of experience in this field and I should take their experience and let it help me to grow faster.Wow!! How quickly God works in us when we are open to it and when we let him flow. Again I’m not saying I am always so open to Him but this is a huge example of why we should be. So many times I have wrestled with God over silly things and every time I give in and let him take over there is so much less damage done to my heart.

There are many books written about self evaluation and maybe if you don’t have Christ in your life you may need to read them. I even suggest you do. The world will be a better place if everyone turns there “change for the better” focus upon themselves. But if you do have Christ in your life this means you also have the Holy Spirit. This is a huge advantage that we have over the rest of the world in this subject (and really in any other subject). The Holy Spirit was sent here to be our constant guide and teacher. He is the one that brings these things to my attention without bringing guilt or fear. This is what prevents things like depression and anxiety. When the Spirit shows me something I could do better he does it in love. And I receive it with my identity firmly planted in Christ. I know that in Gods eyes I’m already this pure person that the Spirit is guiding me to be. So I don’t have to feel guilty about how I acted. What I do need to do is repent and work on changing it. I urge you to sit and ask the Spirit what he sees in your heart to work on. If at that time you start feeling sad, guilty, hatred, or any other negative feeling it IS NOT the Spirit that is guiding you and most likely is your soul (which is usually very confused without the Holy Spirit). If this happens, you can say to yourself, “NO I don’t receive these bitter views of myself. I only receive what the Spirit is giving me.” Just wait a few minutes and see what happens.

Now after the Spirit brings you these revelations he never just leaves you there high and dry. He will help you through the process of change. He will remind you on a daily basis of the decisions you made with Him. He is very helpful in that way. I have also found some very helpful tools on how we can work on our character growth which I will be writing about later but for now let’s just focus on focusing on ourselves and not others. (This is talking about the critical change for the better eye not for other purposes.)

I left a short list of verses to help you further your biblical knowledge on the subject. There are actually a ton more but I don’t want to overwhelm. If you want more verses on the topic leave  a message and I’d be happy to send them to you.

Psalm 32:3-5

Philipians 2:13

Psalm 51:1 The whole 51 is an excellent prayer for your daily life.

Psalm 129:23-24

Mathew 7:3

Luke 6:41

John 14:26, 16:12-15

Acts1:2

What I believe.... (what I love)

Since I started writing again I knew my blog would be shifting in a bit of a new direction. I don't feel the need to change the name or the site because I feel history is important for any reader. I love to know more about the authors that I am reading so Im going to give my readers the chance to find out who I am.

My title for today if you only  read the first line would send out some groans for some people. Which is exactly why I'm writing. A lot of times people have felt that saying "What I believe is..." should be followed by lots of arguments about how people should act and think and move and conduct their lives. Its so sad to me that so many in the world can list off a million things that "Christians" believe and many of those things will be filled to the brim with condemnation. Sure I could fill this blog with things I believe are wrong but I don't believe that's what the Bible tells me to do. Plus a lot of them would be things that I'm working on in my own life. Jesus was clear about how we were suppose to live, he made things very black and white most of the time. He didn't beat around the bush. So yes if you say to me Amanda do you think this or that is ok. I will answer you honestly and say yes or no, but this will not change the way I treat you or love you. Last week we heard a sermon on Judas Escargot. I loved the sermon because it expressed so much of what I have always felt when reading the what I consider one of the saddest parts of the life of Jesus. Every time I read about Jesus telling him, "just go." I cry. I was always sure that Jesus was holding out hope until the very last instant that Judas would change his mind. I don't believe that Judas had to turn Jesus in. Jesus had many enemies in high places they could have captured him any time he was ready for them to. Jesus had disappeared on them a couple times but that is because he knew it wasn't time. Three years before he was sold by Judas, Jesus saw the hurt behind the eyes of a man and had faith that His Father could change that hurt. He spoke life and and purpose into the Judases spirit for three whole years. Clearly he also corrected him because correction is a form of love. But he never rejected him or gave up on him. He ate with him and slept next to him. He loved him!!!! He hoped and I believe prayed that Judas would open his heart to the promises God was giving. I don't believe that he constantly berated him, or geared all of his teachings towards the specific sins Judas was committing or would commit. 

Who am I, you may be thinking, to write about such an opinion. And its ok if your thinking that because I also feel the same way. But that is exactly the point. I am no one important to this world. BUT!!!!! To God I am his precious daughter, loved, and cherished. I am the moving, living, breathing, hands, feet, mouth and body of Christ.  I have lived what Im writing about. And I can tell you many of the "terrible sinners" I have loved and still love in this way are still living their lives the way they were before I met them. And yes this brings me to tears during my times of intercession with the Spirit. But guess what, many are not. Many saw something new, something loving, something they could relate with in the way I live. And those that are still sinning differently than me I know have a seed planted in their hearts. I know that, even if they bash the followers of Christ or just continue living in ways that Jesus clearly said would kill their spirit, they always know who Christ was and is. They know that they are loved by the one true God! How do I know that you might ask. I know because Jesus used my mouth to speak it into their spirits. This gives me the confidence that at some point they will begin to want to be closer and closer to him. 

I know I haven't quoted much of the bible here and this may all look like a bunch of opinion but at the end of the blog I'm going to post verses that explain what Iv been talking about. I don't feel the need to place a scripture behind each sentence because Id rather you look them up and let the Holy Spirit lead you to your revelation. So if you are at all curious about this topic take a look at the scriptures below and before you start reading speak to the Holy Spirit and ask for his guidance. Ask him to give you revelation. With out revelation the scripture is just another book. Please don't just take it from me. Its so important that you grow in your relationship with God and receive it from Him. This post is just a spark of a flame that I know He is going to cultivate in many hearts. 

This morning as I lay in bed discussing this theme with God I asked him to show where in my life I need to be speaking more life and less condemnation. As usually he asked me a simple question that I couldn't answer. Do your kids know what I love about them? Do they know what you love about who they are? My answer was, I hope so. So I asked my middle child. Shes the early bird and so it was just her and I. I said, "Honey, what does mommy love about you?" Her first answers were her hair, her eyes and her cheeks. This is all true she is amazingly beautiful. But it wasn't the answer I'd hoped for. So, I asked her, "what about you, about who you are, about how you act, what parts of that does mommy love?" She got all shy and couldn't answer.  I gave her awhile and tried to explain it in diffrent ways hoping that was why she couldnt answer. She understood the question but nothing came to mind. So I started asking her if mommy loved certain things. For example that she gets completely crazy sometimes and makes us all laugh till we cry. That she has an amazing singing voice and sounds like an angle. That she is creative. Her teachers have told me how driven she is.  Clearly her answer to all these things is yes those are things that mommy loves. What do you think my new goal is? Well I want those to be the items at the fore front of her thinking. My youngest is only four yet answered that she loves people and is nice. Both of which are true. With my oldest her answers were more along the point. She said the way I act because I am happy, that I am creative and smart and that I am beautiful. That I'm a leader. Interestingly she also said, "That I love you." wow that one was powerful. Here is  a thought for prayer time. Should one of our answers to Father God be, because I love you? Oh the things we can learn from our children.
My lesson out of this is that I need to be speaking these things into the life of my middle child. I love how gentle God is with me and my heart. Had this teaching come from anyone else,i may have taken offence. But because it came directly from the heart of my Father I'm excited to make the change.

To end this all and to finish the sentence in the title I want to say I believe that Jesus was a man born from a virgin who lived a normal life trying to please God. And he did!!!!!! He was able to live his life without sinning. I believe when he was obedient and got baptized the Holy Spirit entered his life and changed it drastically. I believe He has given me the same chance to have the same Spirit and to change my life drastically. (He actually expects me to do greater things than Him, Yikes!!!) I believe I sin (maybe different than you) and that all of us should be reaching for the goal of perfection. I believe that I love what God loves which includes you and everyone else. I believe I fail miserably in this aspect and that God continues to help me to get closer to my ultimate goal. 

References:
John 13:18-30
Mathew 24:24
Mark 3:13_18
Mark 6:6_12
Mathew 3:17, 5:43-48
Ok this could go on forever but I think ill stop here. Last and not least: John 13:34,35

My Passion

Most of my readers know that I am christian and love to share of all that God had done in our lives. The day after receiving our Canadian visa denial we went to talk with our pastor at Sozo Church. Our pastors have been used by God many times in our lives over the last couple years and we wanted them to know we were staying and that we were ready to commit 100% to service in the church. Our pastors response  was, and with a straight face,"Are you guys OK?" We said,"Yeah, really we are." He said,"OK can I be happy now." We all laughed and said, "Of course. We are!" Although since this happened one week after our going away party I asked if we were gona get a welcome home party, but that never happened. 

From there we were put in charge of what can be considered the welcoming committee at church. We were faithful in this and as the bible says he who is faithful in little will be given a lot. This happened in August last year. During this time God spoke to me a lot about how I can finally put down roots. That Hes not going to move me again for a long while. This brought me a lot of comfort. God also spoke to us about us serving in the church. We have always worked in the church but more and more God was calling us to do more. In the end of October we were asked to be co-pastors in our church.  This was the fulfillment of a promise God gave me when I first met Issac. Over 10 years ago God told me that Issac would be a pastor. In those 10 years there were times I forgot the promise and times I didn't believe it. I'm thankful that God is faithful even if we are not and even if at times we don't believe Him. Since last October we have seen God move more powerful than ever before. Mainly because we are growing in what we believe about Him and what He can do. And partly because we are believing more about how he sees us. Our Identity in Christ is something that our pastors have helped us to understand. The Holy Spirit has been pushing us and teaching us and guiding us every day and each day we learn to listen to Him more.  

This is the poster that was made to help the church members recognize us and know what we are doing in the church. It says, What we do in Sozo is care for the leaders and the congregation which the Holy Spirit has placed us to pastor and serve. It comes from a verse Acts 20:28-29 (check it out).

These are our pastors and a poster showing our DNA classes. We want all our leaders to not only understand but but be infused with the vision that God has given for Sozo. We love these guys so much and are so thankful to God for placing them on our path. 

I received a word one day saying to me that my hands were made for healing. That I didn't make a mistake with my profession (nursing) but that God wanted to use my hands to heal in the church and for Him now. This was such an awesome word for me and came at a time when I had just reread a poem I wrote when I was a nurse back in the states. When I read it I was in tears because I realized it all applied to my current life which has nothing to do with nursing. But I am still caring for people and helping them heal each and every day. Here is the poem and it can sum up where my passion remains. 

The Greatest Privilege

I get pleasure from their smile. 

I hurt for their hearts pain. 

I give from my healthy body to their broken soul.

Appreciation is the best reward. 

No amount of money can equal someones comfort. 

God has awarded me the greatest honor possible. 

To show his love to the broken. 

Hearing laughter from one with little reason. 

Swells your heart in a way few can understand. 

I can only imagine how Jesus felt as he healed the sick completely, heart and body.

Brings me to tears to even try to imagine. 

Thank you god for what I consider the greatest privilege. 

Bienvenido 2013

Quick Spanish up date:
Out of curiosity how many of you read the title Bienbenido Dos Mil t(d)ece   and how many read it Bienvendio two thousand thirteen. I'm finding it more natural to read and think in Spanish. My goal this year is to grow my vocabulary and stop making stupid conjugation mistakes. Often times I try to speak faster than my brain can keep up and I make mistakes, when I logically know better. Not sure if that makes sense to you but that is the case.

FM2 renewal vs Residency

So this year our plan is to get my Permanent Residency here in Mexico. To apply for this instead of an FM2 renewal is basically the same. Every year there is a different basic procedure at the immigration office. This year they no longer let just anyone enter and and get a number (ficha) Now you have to wait in a line which trails down three flights of stairs. Once you reach the desk they tell you if you are missing any documents and which area you will be going to when you reconcile those documents. If you have to return to the same desk that day you do not have to wait in line again. Although waiting in line on stairs for 40 min sucks it actually all moves a lot faster than before. So even though they haven't reached customer service they are at least reaching efficiency. I filled out my form, got pictures taken and wrote my letters at the little office on the corner which does all things necessary for documents. While I did all this with my two oldest girls my husband was waiting in the line on the stairs with the youngest. He came back with a form saying we needed to pay 1,000 pesos. They told us this was going to be the only fee and as you can imagine it was not. We paid the fee at the bank and went back to turn in the papers at the desk. The webpaged showed I needed to show at the window one day before they took their holiday breaks so needless to say I didn't make it until after Jan 6th to go see what the trouble was. This is when they gave me the form to pay 3,850 pesos in order to receive my documents. Sadly enough we believed them the first time they said we would not have to pay more and didn't have enough to pay for it. Now we are waiting to save up the money so we can go pay the fee and turn in the receipt  Ill let you know once that happens to see if I get my card that day or if I have to wait for them to process everything. 

Life

Im loving it, we are making great improvements at the hospital. My English classes are taking off and as always I have a lot of fun doing them. Our schedules are still pretty packed but its in a good way where none of us including the girls are overly stressed but also are not sitting at home boared. To be honest Im loving life. God has provided left and right and any dreams I thought were ruined because we had to move have been exceeded. My girls are growing up bilingual and bicultural. I am becoming bilingual. My husband is at home with my girls so they are getting a strong base of knowing how wonderful they are and getting daily time with Papi. I am working as a nurse and making a difference in a small way. I also still have plenty of time to have fun, play games and excessive with my girls in the evenings. Some evenings papis gone and we have girl nights, those are lots of fun. As always I still miss my family and hate that my girls wont know them better but skype helps us a lot in that aspect and Im hoping one of my little sister is planning on making a yearly trip down to see us. Also my mom should be coming again within the next year. 

Over my birthday I got to explore Lake Chapala for the first time and I can assure it will not be the last.

Inspiration board
So This year instead of writing resolutions I decided to take a good idea from my sister and make an Inspiration board. As I was telling my husband about it he asked if I could put his goals on half of it. I was so excited about that idea that of course I would do it. As we talked we realized we had the same goals for the year. With that in mind I decided we should just make a family board. I used a picture divider that came in a frame, it had six  5x7 spaces. The first space we put a verse that we decided would be or spiritual focus this year it reads, " Brothers I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind an straining toward the gal to win the prize for which God has called me heaven ward in Christ Jesus. All of us who are mature should take such a view of things and if on some point you think differently, that to God will make clear to you. Only let us live up to what we have already attained."
Our second goal is to strengthen or relationship as a couple and parents. It has romantic words and sticker and a big number 2. Next comes a picture of the girls with a sticker that says everyday life. We want to remember every day to pay attention to them and talk to them. If you don't have kids this may seem obvious, but those of you who do know that sometimes parents can get caught up in their own lives and forget to slow down enough to sit and really listen to their kids. Especially when hey are still so little, but I truly believe this is very important. Our fourth goal is to become better stewards of the resources and money God give us. We are trying to pray more about our finances. Also we have goals to start savings bonds for each girls for collage this year. Next is that my husband and I both want to further our education in some form.  Last is our Health and dieting. We are both hoping to eat better and exercise  This is a necessity. For example today on our walk to church we tried to race and I didn't run far and was so out of breath it was sad.
The best part about all this was that the Sunday morning I got it done our paster was talking about priorities and I felt like God was letting us know quite clearly that he liked the goals we had made. Its amazing how God speaks to us and so clearly if we only keep our hearts and minds open to him.
We are also doing a "good things Jar" Anytime something good happens this year we are going to save it in this Jar. Every year we talk about our favorite thing from the year before but I feel that we leave a lot out. Also my girls are going to be in on it so if they say its something that needs to be put in the Jar it will go in.
Well I wanted to put a pic of both the board and the Jar but its not letting me send it from my phone. Maybe on the next post

God is good, always has been and always will be.

Its been awhile, there has been some changes

Hey there trustee readers. I apologise for how long its been since I wrote. A lot has happened and for the better. My family has been continuously blessed since the last time I wrote.

I had in the past wrote quite a few posts about how my job in the hospital was not going quite as planned. To be honest there was one or two people constantly trying to block any efforts I made to help make the hospital a better place. In October I became so feed up with it that I decided I must leave the hospital. I looked for other jobs and when nothing was forth coming we made the decision for my husband to go back to work full time and me stay home with the girls and focus on growing my English students. I wasn't supper excited about the prospect but I figured if it was what God had for our lives I would roll with it. What I was sure of is that God did not expect me to live in constant frustration and under the thumb of someone else. The Quality team at our hospital got wind of my plans and the next thing I knew I was in their office being asked some strange questions. I didnt realize until later but my answers were part of a "study" they were doing on me and the coworker who was hasseling me. They used our answers as evidence that I should be moved to the Quality care team and seperated, as far as chain of comand goes, from those people who were blocking me. They offered me the option and I jumped on it. My hours are not changed therefore I am able to keep all the English Classes I had before and my husband was able to keep all his Spanish evening classes he was giving. So instead of making a change that would lower our income a bit we made a change that didnt change our income at all. On top of it all I still have job security, and am happier about what I am doing with in the hospital. I love working as a nurse an it has always been so much a part of me that I feel imensly blessed that God has provided me this oportunity. Also I think I need to add that my husband is a saint for staying home with my girls so I can work. We relaized its just not worth it for both of us to work because the second income goes strait to day care. Pluss its so much better for the girls to be home if its possible. He is amazing and doing an excellent job as a stay at home dad. He does do classes in the evening but my house is (almost) always clean and dinner is (almost) always made at home. At the hospital its only two months later and i have already been able to implement some of the change that I had been trying to do for the past year. 

Currently we are pretty busy but in a good way. We actually have some really good friends who are like family to us. They love my girls and help us with them. This is a huge change for us and we love it, not sure what Im gonna do when they have to leave us in a year or so. My schedual is that I go to work in the office from 7am to 230pm Monday through Friday, during the week I have English classses every evening until about 6 or 7 depending on the day but the classes after 5 are at my house so Im still with my girls. I then do Nursng supervisor work on Sunday evenings which is great because Im still getting to practice the application side of nursing and not just theory. My husband has about four steady spanish students that keeps him buys most evenings but he is always home in time for us to have a couple hours together before bed. I honestly couldnt be happier about the way things are going for us. 

After the accident we had to sell our truck to pay for our debts so we are now with only one car. Really it doesnt affect us to much but as far as going to the church we were going to, it wasnt possible anymore. We recently found a small church (which is the way we like it) within walking distance of the house. So on Sunday mornings I walk with the girls to church. About halfway through my hubby strolls in from his Spanish class and I leave close to the closing to get ready for work. He then walks home with the girls. Its funny how things seem so imposible until you actually have to do them. 

In novemember my sister came down for vacation and I applied for my Perminent Resedency which are both for other posts. Now that I have caught you up I need to go do some reading and get caught up on all of you. 

These are happy and exciting times for our family and I am thankfull for any prayers that have been made for us. My God is always good even when times are hard and in times like these I can reflect on the harder times and see more clearly how he pulled us through. 

Blessings

Amanda

Our first Three Kings day

Every year we eat rosca and comment on how cute the little dolls are. Many times the holiday has been explained to me, but I just never took the time to start the traditions. This year I took the girls to Soriana on Jan 5th to buy our rosca. I told them we would leave it out on the table and see if the three kings like rosca. They also each put one shoe under the tree in hopes that the kings might leave them something. Because it was kind of short notice and because we also do Christmas and Santa, the kings only brought them a piece of candy. But it was a big one. They also left pistachios for Issac and I and a sucker for the baby. When they woke up they got to eat rosca and thankfully both the big girls ended up with the doll. (no fighting) Joslins teacher had asked if we had some to send a piece for her to school because they were going to discuss it in class. I packed a piece away for her and sent it with her. I also made them some abualita hot coco that morning. It was kind of a lot to do on a school/work day but if its only once a year I think we can handle it. Plus once again I feel like it helps them to remember why we even celebrate this time of year. Today I finally got all my Christmas stuff put away and my house back in its original order. Usually I put Christmas stuff away the 1st or 2nd of Jan to start out the year fresh but I do believe I can let this slide and hey as long as its done in January its still the beginning of the new year right. Its been so great to have time today to catch up on my blogging and to clean my house and spend time with my girls. The only bad thing about having Sunday be my only day off is that we have been missing church. Hopefully soon Issac can get Sundays off also to help me drag all the girls in there.

Feliz Navidad y Año Nuevo

This year we were pretty busy through the Christmas season. I think I will always remember this year as the year of Posadas. Iv been in Mexico for four Christmas´s now and this year was the first time I ever saw people sing the Posada at a party. And the funny thing is I saw it twice in one day. We had two work parties one was on a Thursday and is when we had Pozole and they handed out the gifts from the hospital. The director of the hospital thought it was funny that they had a gringa their eating pozole with the rest of them. Seriously how can anyone not like pozole. I sometimes wonder what the heck is wrong with the gringas these people have meet. I received an awesome purse from work. One of the first weeks of Christmas I had told my husband  I wanted a purse for Christmas. The purse I had was a year old and I was ready for something new. Then a few days later at work they handed me a catalog and told me I could pick out a purse that was 790p Thats like 75usd, I have never owned a purse worth that much. I was super excited. The first one I picked was exactly that much but they were out of it. The other one I picked was 890p. So I paid 100p for a purse that was like 85usd. Its red and supper cute. When I first saw it I thought it was a little big but it has pull strings on the side that you can use to make it smaller. Anyway that was my perfect gift. Then on Friday they had the posada which included tacos. Some of us stood upstairs (inside) and others stood downstairs in the garden. This is hard to explain if you havent seen the hospital but more or less the hospital is set up like one of those hotels that is open in the middle, and where the pool usually is we have a beautiful garden and fountain. Anyway we (or they) sang all the way through the posada. They had one of the doctors dressed up as Joseph and one of the nurses who is about 7 or 8 months pregnant be Mary. One of the workers also brought a guitar. It was a lot of fun. Later everyone was wanting pictures with Mary so Joseph made a sign that said 10p for a foto with Mary. Everyone got quite a kick out of that. lol I left their right as the Mariachi showed up. I had to head over to the girls school for the posada there. I helped the teachers get everything set up and got me and the girls dressed up just in time. Once everyone arived we sang the Posada their. The kids loved it. I feel like its such a great way to remember what happened and why we celebrate Christmas as Christians. Then the kids broke like four piñatas. Thanks to all the christmas piñatas and birthday piñatas from this week we seriously had a bucket of candy. Issac and I had to bring bags of it to share at work in order to get rid of some of it. After all the fun of the piñatas we ate tamales. They had regular mole tamales for the kids but for the adults they had these amazing ones that were warped in banana leaves. This was also a first for me and if you have not had them you should find some. Seriously amazing. We were invited to another posada where they actually go house to house but we got so busy with just normal stuff here at home that we missed it. I really hope we get invited again next year because it sounds like so much fun. As far as Christmas we had to switch things up a bit this year because Issac and I didnt have a day off together. He had Sat off and since I get off earlier than him we decided Santa would visit that day during the girls nap. We ended up laying them down a bit later than expected because Issac had to help a friend with a flodded shop. But all went well. Instead of sleeping the girls ended up laying in bed playing but it gave Santa plenty of time to fill stockings and put out presents. We were so blessed this last year that we were able to find barbies and princess toys for 1/2 off. We pulled out all the stuff and got right to work. We had found an xbox on sale in October so that was Issacs present. We all were very happy with what we received and honestly although we spent less than 1000p (actually this was given to us by my mom thankfully) we had a wonderful Christmas. Issac and I have decided that from now on no matter how much money we have we will only buy the girls one "big" toy (the barbies) and a couple smaller things that dont cost much. We really want to be carefull not to make Christmas be only a day that they wait for just to get gifts. We buy them the things they want and need through out the year when they are good girls so this works out great for us.

We also got to go to a Christmas/Birthday party at church. Issac had to work that day so it was a bit difficult with the girls. But they had so much fun it was worth it. We had tacos, and cake. The follwoing sunday the girls received their gifts from their classes. Joslins teacher went above and beyond and made little houseshoes for each kid. They are so cute.  Christmas morning instead of a service they did skits. One of my favorite stories is of the candy maker and the candy cane. Every year (including this year) I print copies of the story and had it out with candy canes. That was actually our gift for the girls teachers, and we had no idea they would be doing the skit. I was able to leave the baby in the nursery and sit with the big girls and watch and explain the skits. It was a great day for us. And then after we came home Papi got off work early because there were no calls.

New Years was spent here at the apartment with Issacs mom. We all barely made it to midnight and when we did we randomly ate our grapes. But if its true that what you are doing on New Years represents your coming year Im happy with that. I love nothing more than hanging out here at home with my husband. Sure we like going out from time to time but we as well as our girls are quite home bodies. Oh I almost forgot that day we opened our time capsule from last year and redid it for the coming year. We also wrote out our resolutions. Alanas was so cute she wants to do her Dance stretches more at home. For Joslin we want her using English more easily. For lily it was for her to start walking, which she has done this week. lol Mine is to speak better in past and future in Spanish and to try and start my Yoga again. Issac wants to get some schooling which was his goal last year but with all the changes of jobs and such we just never got to it. His new job offers school aid so Im hoping he can get started this year some time, even if it is at the end of the year. Issacs moms was to finish her computer class well. We also talked about our favorite things from the past year. The funniest of these is that Alana said Lilys favorite thing over the past year was her milk. lol

Well that was my Christmas and New Years in a nut shell. Now I want to take some time to read about yours.

¿The Normal Life?

The other night I was talking to my husband and I said, "I actually have time to blog now and I feel like I don't have anything to write about."
He says, "Amanda you have tons to write about you live in Mexico."
"Yes but everything seems so normal to me now." I responded.
He looks at me, almost exacerbated,"Then write about that." (somewhere in here I'm thinking oh gee how boring), he continues, "I remember when you first started reading blogs and when you saw that Leslie from Motherhood in Mexico said something to that effect, it gave you hope. That is why you write is to give those other people hope about their life here. I think you need to write about how you feel that your life is normal."

So here is that post.

I'm a mother of three beautiful girls, who every morning wake up at 630. I get them dressed, brush their hair, make a quick breakfast they can eat in the truck and rush them out the door. When I drop them off at school their is almost always something I forgot to put in a book bag, and if not at least one aviso (message) for me to give to a teacher or caregiver. I then zoom off (well not really my truck is a bit broken and I cant go over 30mph) to the hospital. I park and chat with the garage attendant if I have time then run inside to work. On the way in I say buenos dias to everyone I pass even if they are in the middle of a conversation (I guess Im still getting use to that part). After finding out where I'm working for the day I go and care for patients. At the end of my day I'm watching the clock because I'm anxious to get my girls and go home with them. As soon as I can I run out to my truck, of course saying adios to everyone I pass and from time to time stopping to chat. Their is no real running in and out of places here. I pick up my girls, the older two are always running to me for hugs and the baby loves her teacher so much I have to pry her from her arms. I listen to any report from the teachers and we are off. I talk to the older girls about their day on the way home and when I get home I read their report books and check for home work. They do their homework while the baby plays. Then I have Alana do an English website while Joslin watches and repeats. At aruond 530 the baby takes small nap with her milk while I cook dinner. By the time dinner is ready papi is home, and is welcomed by lots of hugs and kisses all around. We eat dinner around 6pm and then the girls get to play and talk with papi about their day. Bath time at 730 and off to bed for the girls. My husband and I then either spend some time alone doing our own thing or doing something together. Traffic and driving here in the city feels a lot like St. Louis, I have Wal Mart (which I cant stand anymore) Sams (which I love) close by and fresh fruits, veggies, and meat on every corner. We have a doctor that we really like. He only costs us 30p a visit, and he is wonderful with my girls. I have figured out how to keep the bugs out of my house. And I actually like the idea of black widows better than brown recluse. (black widows stay home and are usually in a place out of reach for my kids, brown recluse hide in your close and bed).

On days off my girls wake up and crawl in bed with us for a little snuggle time then want to eat. After eating we clean the house, let them do crafts, maybe walk to the park, or play games. We go to church from 11-130 I help in the nursery and my husband helps with translation. We have friends who come over for Sat night collage football, and my girls are happy and healthy. To me this all seems like what I would have been doing in the states. Although I must say Im ALOT more laid back than I would have been if we stayed their. My digestive system is healthier because Im less stressed, and I am able to brush off things much easier than before. Some of this my have come with age (no Im not old) but I know it came a lot faster because of Mexico.

I barely notice anymore that when I'm a pedestrian I don't have the right away, and that I have to teach my kids to run across the street instead of walk. I barely notice that my tissue goes in the trash can and I have to empty that can every day if not twice a day. And what were the other things that were different living here than in the states. I just read a blog this morning that talked about them all and seriously I cant repeat it if I wanted to.

Yesterday we shopped for food for Thanksgiving and for the babys birthday. Lily is turning one this coming weekend. I still have to finish her whole scrap book and baby book and make all the decorations and invitations. This should be a pretty fun week.

This post is for all of you out their who may be struggling with the idea of raising your family here, or who have just moved and need some hope. It took me three years to get to this point. Dont push it, take things one day at a time or how people love to say here poco a poco. Adopt that phrase and do your best to live it. You can do it and you can be happy here. One thing is for sure though you need a supportive spouse who loves you enough to love on you when its hard and encourage you when you get frustrated. Believe me my hubby is far from perfect and has screwed up pretty badly in the past but this is one thing that he has done so well.

I think thats it for now.

April photo update!!!

I love this time of year. To me it represents love. The main reason of course is due to Pascua and the resurrection of Christ. It is amazing to think that God could love me this much. The next reason is because our anniversary is in April. And lastly of course there is spring and the coming of new life and what that means. With that brief description here is the update.
We have been doing activities for Easter to help the girls remember the real reason for Easter. Here are some of those photos.

Also we got to go to a passover dinner at church. It was very interesting and enlightening. We learned about the Jewish traditions and the meanings behind them. The pastor also tied in the relation that most of these traditions have to Christ. I had hoped the church would have pics up on the web page of that night but they dont as of now. One tid bit that I was happy to take away is that during the dinner the Jews eat a boiled egg. They do this because the egg represents the hardness of Pharaohs heart. I liked this because I often get asked down here why we do eggs. I never was sure and I usually answer that I think it has to do with new life, spring, and or fertility. But this answer always came up short for me because we are basically saying that a dead egg is a sign of fertility. So I plan for this idea to be more incorpirated into our Easter learning in the following years. And to be honest I have always left passover out of the teaching I do with the girls. I usually just talk to them about the resurrection but considering the passover was the last celebration Jesus had I feel my pastor is right in including it in the teaching.

For our anniversary this year we actually had a baby sitter which was so nice. We got our girls to bed then got all dressed up and headed out for the night. (well really only a few hours but its more than we have had for a long time) We went to a Tango Restaurant. The food was unbelievably good and the entertainment was so much fun. Every "fancy" restaurant Iv been to so far in Guadalajara was missing out a lot food wise. The decor and service is usually great but the food is mediocre. I had filet miñon and Issac had a steak and I cant say Iv had a better one since Iv been in the states. On top of that the prices were reasonable, sure there were plates that were 2-300p but total we spent less than 500p and we were not even trying to limit ourselves. Below are some pics. The pictures of the dancers didnt turn out all that great but you get the idea. They were great and now I want to learn Tango!!!

Then we got to go to Jackies house from the blog "The Vaca Family" and dye eggs. Shes such a good blogger she prob already has the pics up from that day. ;) We had so much fun and the girls loved it.

And then of course there was Easter morning. My cousin had sent me a box of Easter stuff but thanks to Mexico shutting down on Thursday I wasn't able to get it. Alana had once again asked if the bunny could bring her a flash light. I really wasn't planning on that happening but Waldos had the cute little lanterns. For those of you who live in or near a city if you can find a Waldos they tend to have at least a few things for America Holidays year round. The girls spent much of Easter morning in their closets with their lanterns. ;)

Wow so are you on overload!?!?! I could have broke this post up but its all within the same few weeks and we have had a blast.

Spring

In Mexico one of the many ways spring is celebrated is by children dressing up like Animals. I was a bit slow at learning this but next year my girls will be cute woodland creatures. Let me tell you how I figured this one out. A couple Sundays ago my husband let me know that the girls were suppose to dress up in a costume for the following Sunday. The following Sunday happened to be the day we were "graduating" from our class and I assumed it had something to do with this. The Friday before I had seen some kids outside a tienda dressed like a lady bug and a bunny. I thought to myself oh how cute they must be celebrating spring. But was I bright enough at this point to connect the two events before church. The answer is NO, so we ended up dressing Alana like Arial and Joslin like Tinkerbell. To be honest we didn't have animal costumes anyway, and Alana did have another princess in her class who I knows parents are both Mexican. This made me feel a little better as the reality of it hit me during the service when I saw a bunch of woodland characters running around. Ether way my girls looked supper cute and everyone kept saying "ohhh que linda" as we walked by. I wonder how many of them were thinking, "I guess she didnt understand." lol The good thing is I can laugh about it and plan to get animal costumes for next year. ;) Here is a pic of my Spring mermaid and fairy. Oh and an updated pic of mi puerqito.

Sorry I had to delete the pics off my blog, I have decided to keep my blog public no matter how many hateful comments I get. If I made my blog private it would defeat the purpose so instead I will just delete the pictures and refrain from using names in attempt to keep things safe for us. 

Casa Jugar

Hey everyone I hope all is going well.


Most of you know about the childrens home Issacs Aunt runs in Monclova, and for those of you who dont Im adding information on this note. I wanted to help Tia Betty (Issacs Aunt) get the word out about some changes they have going on. Really this is a good thing, the government is putting more restrictions and safety requirements on the homes but they also are not helping to pay for these upgrades. Homes like Casa Jugar are run on prayers and the love of people. So please read below and if there is anything you can do please contact me and Ill get you set up with them.
I have personally spent a lot of time there and know that the children are well taken care of and loved.

First, a brief description of our ministry.

We are a non-profit organization with over ten years in this ministry.

Our lord Jesus Christ called us to share the gospel and help children victims of abuse, neglecting, abandonment, extreme poverty, violation, etc in our city. We are aware of the need those children and their families have to know our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and have him as their savior. Our ministry is based on that principal. We provide them with housing, food, clothing, proper education, family values, among other basic needs.

The enforcement of these requirements is based on several different issues and disasters found in different foster homes, like fires, lack of good service and illegal actions, such as fake adoptions.

By law, we must have a “Feasibility license” which is issued once we’ve covered all of the following:



Be legally Constituted
Have Internal Regulations
Have a license from the civil protection department
Have a license from the health department
Have a primary care physician
Have a nurse
Have a psychologist
Have a social worker
Assistants
Cook
Driver
Maintenance personnel
Equipped doctor’s office
Dormitories
Dining room
Administration office
Recreation area
Rest area
Insurance



The secretary of the civil protection department visited us and among other things, these were some of her safety concerns:



Electrical wiring and system repair
Relocation of butane tank with a chain link fence
Chain link fence around the water cistern



With the blessing of The Lord our God we’ve been able to slowly meet part of these requirements. Here’s a few:

We have created new internal regulations and statutes that have been legally written by an attorney. (cost: $5,000 pesos). these regulations were sent to the main office in capitol city Saltillo.



Our constitution has also gone under several changes based on the new requirements. (Cost: $7,000 pesos)This charter will be presented at the Public Property Records Office.



The license that the civil protection department issues are based on a certification a supervisor gives. There has to be a contingency plan, first aid training, evacuation route, fire extinguisher training, etc.

The cost for this certification is $13,500 pesos. The Lord has shown us His favor, since the certified person we found is Christian. Him and his wife came to see our home and told us they would do it and we would only have to pay for the paperwork and other expenses, such as evacuation and extinguisher signs. It would be about $4,000 pesos approximately. They will also give us a good deal on the fire extinguishers we need.



We were also able to find a doctor and a psychologist that are voluntarily helping. We still need a nurse, a social worker and a secretary.



There’s also a person who is helping as the chief of maintenance and he is doing some plumbing and electrical repairs. There’s still a lot to do when it comes to maintenance:

Chain link fence around the cistern and butane tanks
Replacement of old piping ($4,000 pesos aprox.)
Install conduit for the electrical wiring underground and rid of the old obsolete wire
Drywall (sheetrock) exposed areas in different locations and replace old drywall
Build a nurse’s station
Replace broken water gauges
Replace light switches and set them at a certain height
Fix basketball court
Fix soccer field



We believe all these requirements can be met because we can see that God is helping us in so many different ways. We invite you to help us mainly with your prayers, but also with labor or an offering according to your hearts. Our desire is to continue doing this work, witnessing the gospel not only to the kids, but also to their families.

I have not received instruction from our God to give up and not continue with casa hogar; things have not been easy since the beginning of the year, and even though we grow tired and feel week we press on. The facilities we are in are very old, this used to be a seminary school back in the 50’s so you can imagine how much work is yet to be done. Our furniture as well is not that new, but our main focus is not to give and have fancy things for the kids, but to give the love, warmth and care only found in our Lord that they so desperately need.

God gave us this ministry back in the year 2000 through His word in 2nd Corinthians 9:8 “And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things, at all times, having all that you need you will abound in every good work”



Once again, thank you for all your love, support and prayers

May our Lord bless you abundantly!

Undo me

This is the title to an old song by Jennifer Knapp that Iv always loved and that always seems to be on hand when I need it. I recently went through a process that was both scary and frustrating. But you know what during it all I just knew that God would pull us through. I held on to the truth of his word and remembered all the times he has provided for my family at just the right time. And guess what guys he did. We were provided for and not only that but also given a certainty that this type of things shouldn't happen again any time soon. This faith that I had is something that God has been working on in my heart for years. I cant explain to you how thankful I was to him for the peace I felt the whole time. But guess what I will forever be a work in progress, as we all are. God will continue to put me through his fire to purify me, because I'm to chalked full of self, and the world to be purified completely while I still breath the air of this world God made. So now he is working on me with dealing with anger and tranquility. The song I spoke of above is about God undoing us and changing us into a person more like Jesus. And in this case it has reminded me that I am not innocent of hurting others and sometimes even those who I actually care about. Sometimes even I do stupid things that may hurt someone so who am I to judge and be angry and another person for the same. I look at my situation and realize that Christ would forgive, and turn his cheek. He would do this even though he knew he would probably have to do it again soon. Moving on and letting go of the anger I feel is not going to be easy but I know that's what I need to do. I'm thankful for a conversation with a good friend last night who reminded me that sometimes you just have to bite your tongue and push through the moment. The funny thing is all of this and other things she said to me is the kind of stuff I tell people all the time. But dang it when your the one in the situation its hard to remember you own good advise. Its so nice to have friends again who I can call when I'm frustrated and need to vent. So after a lot of prayer, venting, and chatting with friends and my husband I know I can come out on the other side undone. Meaning I'm letting God rebuild me. Here are the lyrics to that song.

Undo Me by Jennifer Knapp
Papa, I think I messed up again
Was it something I did?
Was it something I said?
I don't mean to do you wrong
It's just the way of human nature!

Sister, I know I let you down
I can tell by the fact
You never come around
You don't have to say a thing
I can tell by your eyes
Exactly what you mean

That it's time
To get down on my knees and pray
"Lord, undo me!"
Put away my flesh and bone
'Til You own this spirit through me Lord,
Undo me.

Mama, I know I made you cry
But I never meant to hurt you
I never meant to lie
While the world shook its head in shame
I let you take the blame

Brother, I know you labored
So hard to please
But I cut you down
And I left you on your knees
Well I know it must be

Time to get down on my knees and pray
"Lord, undo me!"
Put away my flesh and bone
'Til You own this spirit through me Lord

I am wanting, needing, guilty and greedy
Unrighteous, unholy; undo me. Undo me!

Abba Father You must wonder why
More times than Peter I have denied.
Three nails and a cross to prove
I owe my life eternally to you!

And it's time
To get down on my knees and pray
"Lord, undo me!"
Put away my flesh and bone
'Til You own this spirit through me Lord,
Undo me

Palabra de Vive

I think I have mentioned how much I love our new church up here. Im again excited about Sunday mornings. They have recently been doing a great job updating their web site. For the Christmas service the kids did little songs. At first the had Alana in the back because she is so tall but very quickly the teacher pulled her to the front because she was doing so good. Im going to try to get the video on her but if not here is a link to the pics on the church website. Oh yes shes the pretty one in the blue jean dress. :) http://www.hay.com.mx/ipv/board.php?board=qqqgallery&command=body&no=86



Oh I hope this works she was so darn cute.
Anyway check out our church web site there are other cool things on there.

Last week I had the privilege of helping a mission of Doctors to provide Prolotherapy and fix varicose veins. I only got to go help three times in the week but it was a great experience.

My moms first couple weeks

Once again I started this a few weeks ago. So some of it may be a little out dated. Things like that Im no longer pregnant and we have a new member of our family around. Ill post about that on a different blog hopefully tonight. ;)
My mom flew in on the tenth of November. She made it through all the checks well but did get the red light. She said she was ok with it because they had reassured her that her family was on the other side of the next set of doors. As soon as she got through my girls were in her lap in the wheelchair and the attendant pushed them all out to the truck. My mom was only here two days one of which Issac and I both worked before more family showed up. Issacs sister came on that Friday with her husband, son and dog, and his mom came in on Sat. They were all here for about 3 days and although it was fun I was way stressed. Everyone and more are coming back for Thanksgiving but I think Ill do better this time because my mom has had some time to get use to the place. Really his family are the best to have around they cook, buy food, clean and everything its just the constant commotion that got to me.
So far all we have gotten to do is go to an art sale and listen to an orchestra band in the park. My mom loved it and Ill post some pics, shes the gringa redhead in the middle and Issacs mom is sitting next to her. My mom had a great time and regardless of the language barrier she actually made some friends. We will be going back this Sunday because we ordered a painting she wanted to have made for the girls.
We also went to a parade which was lot of fun for all of us.
A few of the things my mom has noticed that I forget about is how everything is built so close to each other. She is now telling me how I need smoke detectors in the house and I'm trying to explain how everything is concrete and fires dont spread like in the states. To be honest she hasn't seen to much except wal-mart because we still needed so much for the house and although we were dealing with it my mom wasn't willing to. Which is great because it was those things that makes life so much easier.
Even no weeks later I haven't been able to get her out much because I had the baby last weekend.
For work now I'm staying home and writing a curriculum for a medical English class. I'm glad I have something I can work on from home and still get paid during my maternity leave.

Sorry I had to delete the pics off my blog, I have decided to keep my blog public no matter how many hateful comments I get. If I made my blog private it would defeat the purpose so instead I will just delete the pictures and refrain from using names in attempt to keep things safe for us. 

finding a place to worhsip

Our first Sunday in town we decided to join some friends of ours at their church. We had actually stopped by once when we were in town looking for a place to live so we knew where it was. El Camino was a great church and had a little class for Alana. We enjoyed the worship but didn't feel a pull from the spirit to make it our home. Also it was about 25 min to get home after ward. This is a long time when you have two tired and hungry kids. We hope to get to visit down there from time to time if they have an event or something but as far as every Sunday we decided pretty quickly that wasn't the place for us.
Thanks to some good friends who live in Tototlan (who we met while living in Tepa) we were put in contact with some missionaries who live here in Guad. Due to them having a hectic schedule at the time we haven't been able to meet in person but I know the day will come soon enough. They were able to suggest a church to us that is not even five min from our house. Well we love it so far. To be honest its a little more charismatic than any other place Iv called home but is something I can get use to. They are not flashy or showy about it but from time to time you might see someone fall out during prayer. There is so much we love about this church and I'm going to tell you now. ;)
1 They have a wonderful class for Alana, she actually comes out telling me what they told her about Jesus. She gets to go to a class when we do our class (this was an accident actually, we thought the service started at 10 and actually it was Sunday school, we liked it so much we plan to go at that time every week). During the class Issac and I sit in the nursery with Joslin which is right behind the sanctuary with a big glass window so you can see out there. They also have a huge screen TV in the nursery so you can hear and see the class. This is nice because Issac and I can kind of chat about what the guy is talking about when I dont understand well.
2. We pick Alana up for praise and worship and everyone joins in. There are so many youth at this church and I get teary eyed every time I look at the whole group of them praising God. I love for Alana (and Jos soon enough) to see us singing to Jesus and showing him how much we love him. They do up beat and slow music and let it all be led by the spirit. For example this last Sunday we ended up not even having much of a sermon because the praise session cut way into the sermon time.
3 Ok here is a great great great part to. During the sermon they have these little head phones they give me where someone is translating the whole sermon live. So last week I got to hear my first full sermon in English in over a year. Yeah I know this will cut back on my Spanish practice a bit but seriously people that's not why I'm there. ;) During the Sermon one of us (Issac or I) have to sit with Jos back in the nursery but my headphones work back there so we have decided to just take turns every other Sunday.
4 speaking of the nursery.... Its clean!!!! and safe!!!! And in Alanas class they were sure both Sundays to ask our names and who would be picking her up. They dont let any kids leave the room with out having made eye contact with the parents first.
5 people are so friendly and ready to chat. There is a little dinning area where I give the girls a snack between class and sermon and every week we have been able to meet someone.

I think there is more but I cant think of it right now. The best part is that to be honest we had decided we could go with out all these wonderful things in our church life but God has given them to us anyway. We feel so blessed. We are pretty sure at this point that this will be our church home but for now we are going to plan to go a few more Sundays and continue checking it out.

Blessed

I have been so thankful lately for everything in my life. My home and my family are so much more than I could have ever dreamed I would have. Right now I'm sitting in a well sun lit room with a gentle cool breeze flowing through my house, while my girls finish their nap. I'm so at peace with where I am and what my future holds for me. I'm not sure why I just decided to write this post but it just felt write to express this. Maybe because sometimes it just doesn't feel like enough to tell God how pleased I am with what he has given me. I want to tell the world, I want to shout it from the mountains, I want to sing it in song. Luckily for my neighbors I'm well aware of my singing voice so Ill keep a wrap on that one and just express my happiness in my blog. I had recently been feeling a slight discontent or restlessness creeping into my soul, and with no real root or cause. When this happens to me I do my best to focus on all the things I have to be thankful for. Sometimes and with this last week the discontent and restlessness dont just go away, as a matter of fact it may get a little stronger. But I also know from the past that if I continue to pray through this and continue to count my blessings God will see me through. And usually on the other side is a peace and a purpose to my life that I didn't see or have before. To be honest I'm still not sure of the purpose this time around but today I am receiving the peace. Sitting here and looking back to yesterday I see that yesterday was the peak of my restless heart and the break through of Christ in my soul. Its always nice to be reminded who can and always will restore my peace and take away any restlessness that I feel. I read something today that Id like to share. Its funny that I didn't read it until after I felt my break through, but I think its because the restlessness I was feeling was not because I was expecting something from my husband and that's what this centers on. But you can read anything into the pieces where I put parenthesis. To be honest I still cant place where my discontent was coming from and sometimes that's just how it is. The evil one comes to destroy and his purpose is only that, even when he has no foothold he finds a way. But God is always there and will win. Here is the piece I read today. I added words in the parenthesis to make it more relevant to how I was feeling.

In our quest for relational intimacy (for peace, for quietness, for love, for what ever you are looking for), remember there is Someone we can whisper our hearts´ desires to and get our boosts from who will strengthen our integrity, not jeopardize it.
If you are thinking, No way will talking to God ever excite me like talking to a man (person, like watching a show, like reading a book. etc.), then you haven´t allowed yourself to be courted by our Creator. The same God whose words possessed the power to form the entire universe longs to whisper into your hungry heart words that have the power to thrill you, heal you, and draw you into a deeper love relationship than you ever imagined possible. A guy (person or friend) may say that you look fine, but God´s Word says, "I have loved you with an everlasting love, I have drawn you with loving-kindness" (Jeremiah 31:3). Even your husband (or loved one) may tell you"I´m committed to you until death," but God says, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you" (Hebrews 13:5).
Make time to retreat to a quiet place with the Lover of your soul. Speak whatever is on your heart, and then listen as God speaks straight from His heart directly to yours.
(I got this from a book titled Every Women Every Day by Shannon Ethridge but she actually got it from a book titled Every Woman´s Battle)

Not only has God provided me with more than I could have ever imagined in my marriage and my family but he also is the Lover of my soul. This is what I have, and this is real and I just felt the need to share and let you know you can have it to. There is no specifics to it other than just talking to Him and opening up. That is all he wants anything else will come natural.

Its funny because I started this post out to be about me taking walks.... Ill save any of that for another post and let you know in that post how I veered off in this direction. ;)