Here are the lyrics from a song that gave me strength when I was preparing for my move to Mexico. Her name is Stephanie Smith. Name of the song is I'm not afraid.
I'm not afraid (I'm not afraid)
I'm not afraid
Sorry it's over
I think it's the best thing for now
I'm taking the mem'rys
I don't want to leave them all behind
Some were good, some were bad,
Some were in between
But I gotta do whats right for me and
I'm not afraid
To walk away, let me go for the last time
Finally got it strait for the first time
I'm not afraid cuz I know he's there to meet me
So I'll be gone, I'll be gone but not alone
I hate how it happened
But it just wasn't supposed to be
Lets not talk about it
Cause always looking back won't change a thing
Leave the good, leave the bad and the in between
I'm gonna do what's right for me and
I'm not afraid
To walk away let me go for the last time
Finally got it strait for the first time
I'm not afaid cause I know he's there to meet me
So I'll be gone,
I'll be gone but not alone
It may not be easy
Cause at it's best life is still hard
But He is with me
And I am not alone
Not afraid gotta go for the last time
I got it strait for the first time
I'll be gone but not alone
Not afraid to walk away
Let me go for the last time
Finally got it strait for the first time
Not afraid cause I know he's there to meet me
So I'll be gone, I'll be gone
But I'm not afraid
To walk away let me go for the last time
Finally got it strait for the first time,
Not afaid cause I know he's there to meet me
So I'll be gone,
I'll be gone but not alone
I'll be gone but not alone
Whoa oh a oh oh
I'll be gone but not alone
I'll be gone
Be gone, be gone
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Preparing for the Move May 08
The house has been on the market for about 4 months doesn't look like like it will be sold before I go. I plan to call the bank for the house and car the weekend before I leave and let them know I am relinquishing them and where they can get the car. We understand this is a bad move for our credit. But I have been advised by a lawyer and a credit adviser that this is my only option and that the credit history will not follow me to Mexico nor Canada. I don't have a lot of big stuff to sale anyway. I am giving away all of my furniture to people who need it. All my furniture came to me with out me paying for it and when I needed it. I'm hoping to do the same for others. And all my kitchen stuff that I'm not going to keep I plan to give to an organization that helps battered women with children who are trying to get started on their own. So the only stuff I'm putting in the sale are blankets, some cloths, stuffed animals, nick naks and a few books. (I have a lot of that sort of junk) I have a paper on my fridge that has names on it with the furniture my friends have claimed.
My cats went to their new home tonight. It is a neighbor of my babysitte. He has a little boy. The little boy was soooooooooooo excited to get them. Which helped me a little. I already miss Zebbie. I always promised he I would take her wherever I went. But I think she will do well. Her new owner is a nice man who will love them and the little boy (Chase) is so happy. Teal just called me to let me know that Zebbie is hiding and they are letting her and Boots is checking the place out and playing with Chase.
Im getting really excited about moving.
We will have absolutely no money to spend on anything here in the States once we get to MX. If I keep the house and car and wait for them to sell then I would have to make payments on the loans and insurance. We will barely be making it as it is down there. Issac will do a great job of providing for us but it will be pretty tight. We have talked to a bankruptcy lawyer, and a credit specialist councilor and they both said our credit score will not follow us to Mexico or Canada. Also the credit counselor said that if it did happen that we could come back we could call her co. and they would help us figure something out given the situation. As an FYI the car is a Nissan Altima 2006 and I still owe 15,000. Iv only been paying on it less than a year. So the chance of selling it is slim.
My cats went to their new home tonight. It is a neighbor of my babysitte. He has a little boy. The little boy was soooooooooooo excited to get them. Which helped me a little. I already miss Zebbie. I always promised he I would take her wherever I went. But I think she will do well. Her new owner is a nice man who will love them and the little boy (Chase) is so happy. Teal just called me to let me know that Zebbie is hiding and they are letting her and Boots is checking the place out and playing with Chase.
Im getting really excited about moving.
We will have absolutely no money to spend on anything here in the States once we get to MX. If I keep the house and car and wait for them to sell then I would have to make payments on the loans and insurance. We will barely be making it as it is down there. Issac will do a great job of providing for us but it will be pretty tight. We have talked to a bankruptcy lawyer, and a credit specialist councilor and they both said our credit score will not follow us to Mexico or Canada. Also the credit counselor said that if it did happen that we could come back we could call her co. and they would help us figure something out given the situation. As an FYI the car is a Nissan Altima 2006 and I still owe 15,000. Iv only been paying on it less than a year. So the chance of selling it is slim.
Before the Move
So only 6 weeks left and Issac and I decided that Mexico City is not the place we want to call home. He has decided on a town called Tepatitlan de Morelos. Look it up some time its pretty cool. Its a city with a population about 2/3 of St. Louis but on a lot larger of an area. So basically people are not living on top of each other.
Excitment
Geeessssssss. Im so excited. Kinda feels like I have a lot to do but really I don't. So much has to wait until the last min. I cant wait for us to all be together. Issac is so good with Alana. And we are so ready for our next one. We have been discussing names and he has checked into some OB's down there. Due to living in a smaller town none of them will be English speaking. So Issac will be going to every appointment with me. How exciting Im so ready to do that all again. And to see Alana with a sibling. She is a handful right now. I cant wait to have daddy around. Although I don't think he will be much help on the discipline part. Hes a push over all you gotta do is pout. Opps he will be reading this. lol. I'm just so happy and I'm trying to figure out how to tell you all that and its just not working. Well when I get there Ill send pictures and you'll see it all over my face. I'm at peace with him. Anyway I'm obviously a little nervous. Iv always been pretty flexible and able to adjust to situations but wow a whole culture and language. This will be so cool and yet freaky at the same time. Shawndra gave me this awesome book to read about Mexico and its history. It s really a captivating country. Ok I'm gonna stop now. Sorry for blabbing I'm just getting relay excited
Communication across a border Feb 08
Issac took a full time job at the hotel in Mx city. When they hired him they told him the shifts would rotate every 2 weeks. The only time this sucks is when he does eve. Alana and I were so bored tonight without papi. One of the employees told Issac they only switch once a month and if that's true I told him he would have to quite. I cant go a month without him and I know Alana cant and that he would die with out seeing her.
More from my mom
This is to show what all she did to try and help us before we made our final decision to move to Mexico.
Hay I need another address for now I am sending out the Hernandez Story to any one I can. I got 8 white envelopes from the post office, they are going t the white huse, Ellen, Oprah, 2 to Todd Akins and 2 to JoAnn Emerson. I will send these out to any one you can help me come up with at any time you can come up with a name. Please put it on here for me.... I want people to know that our country does not always stand for freedom as it states that it does. we talk and have wars to free people, I can't imagine not being able to go any where I want. please if you think of someone I can send a copy of let me know. I have lots of copies. I love you all. Mom
Then here is a response from my sister.
Not sure if this would help but you could try El Paso, Texas Mayor John Cook and Juarez Mayor Hector Murguia Lardizabal.
Here's some exceprts from an article I found:
El Paso Mayor John Cook and Juarez Mayor Hector Murguia Lardizabal embraced at the top of the bridge.
"Today is a historic day in the expression of friendship between two mayors, two cities and two countries. It is necessary for Washington and Mexico City to understand that our border doesn't separate us, it joins us," Cook said.
"Mexico is the most important country to the United States. They're not going anywhere ... if we build a wall it will set back relations with Mexico 100 years, and you can't blame them, they know what a wall means," said Neck, who described himself as a fifth-generation Texan.
Here's the whole article: http://www.reuters.com/article/topNews/idUSN2538602420070825
Hay I need another address for now I am sending out the Hernandez Story to any one I can. I got 8 white envelopes from the post office, they are going t the white huse, Ellen, Oprah, 2 to Todd Akins and 2 to JoAnn Emerson. I will send these out to any one you can help me come up with at any time you can come up with a name. Please put it on here for me.... I want people to know that our country does not always stand for freedom as it states that it does. we talk and have wars to free people, I can't imagine not being able to go any where I want. please if you think of someone I can send a copy of let me know. I have lots of copies. I love you all. Mom
Then here is a response from my sister.
Not sure if this would help but you could try El Paso, Texas Mayor John Cook and Juarez Mayor Hector Murguia Lardizabal.
Here's some exceprts from an article I found:
El Paso Mayor John Cook and Juarez Mayor Hector Murguia Lardizabal embraced at the top of the bridge.
"Today is a historic day in the expression of friendship between two mayors, two cities and two countries. It is necessary for Washington and Mexico City to understand that our border doesn't separate us, it joins us," Cook said.
"Mexico is the most important country to the United States. They're not going anywhere ... if we build a wall it will set back relations with Mexico 100 years, and you can't blame them, they know what a wall means," said Neck, who described himself as a fifth-generation Texan.
Here's the whole article: http://www.reuters.com/article/topNews/idUSN2538602420070825
A message from my mom in Jan 2008
This was a message my mom sent out. I put it on here because it shows how our struggle affected those who love us. She doesnt always get the story right but her heart is in the right place. :) I love you mom.
I know a lot of you know my daughter Amanda, She meet Issac while living in St Louis. She went there for more Schooling in the nursing field, I'm very proud of her getting her degree. She is a very hard worker and a fine Christian girl, God shared her with me, I am proud.... She meet a wonderful young man at her church in St Louis, they married , and they later had Alana. They may have lived happily ever after right there in the big city of St Louis, but , and there's always a but, right, well, Issac is from Mexico and they decided they wanted to make it right, so Issac turned himself in in prayer and hope to be able to become a US citizen, that's the way you should do it... He came here by crossing the boarder in Brownsville, he put a back pack on his back at 19 years old and walked across with collage students..... He later meet Amanda. Now all this young couple wanted was to do it all right. as Christians they were deeply in love and know they should marry, the wedding was Blessed by God, I know, I was there, of course, but I felt the power of God's presence there along with all there Church family and friends, it was beautiful. While waiting on all the paper work to be done, the church paid and become responsible for Issac and all seemed to be going well. Amanda became pregnant with Alana. They were in hopes that Issac would be there for the birth and not deported, but they picked him up on July 3, and he went willingly. Alana was born on the July 15Th, now I share this with you and others for prayer.. prayer is what God wants us to do, "talk to him" I know I do that, but not enough, I feel lead to ask others to pray. Truly pray. My daughter Amanda and her husband Issac have been apart now for 1 year 6 months. They paid an attorney, they have went through all the paper work. Because of the problems America is bringing up now days about illegal citizens, has cause them to not let Issac come here...the US has had this problem for a long time, it is just that now people are yelling about sharing our Country with others. People are people I understand that. My son in law Misses his wife and baby, Amanda and Issac have been able to get enough money for Alana and Amanda to go to Mexico several times, it is very expensive. Alana sees her daddy on the Internet most of the time, she Kisses and feeds her daddy now on a TV screen, I don't tell you this to feel sorry for her, I tell you this to explain that this is really happening, they live it, each and everyday... I'm asking for prayer, asking for you to share this with others for prayer. I have wrote our President, Joanne Emerson and even the Oprah show, only because It hurts to see such a fine young Christian family trying so hard to do all they can to be together. When you love someone and you can't be with them, we all have been separated from someone at some time, you actually can feel sick, very sick.... well this young family has decided that maybe if Issac can go to Canada, then Amanda and Alana can come there. Issac wants a better life and he desperately wants one for my daughter and grand daughter, so they will do this, go to Canada... I hurt to think my children have to go and live somewhere else, but I want what they want and that is to be together...... please pray with me about this, I am still trying to get to Joanne Emerson or someone who can keep my children, Issac, Amanda and Alana home in the USA.... they belong here now, Issac like many of us only wanted a better life for himself, young and desperate he made a decision to cross over, scared, you bet he was, we all our when we finally step out, and life has now happened, now he is trying to make it work. Please pray for this young man to be able to get a job in Canada and be able to reunite his family, he is trying so hard. My prayer here is not that you come up to me or write me and say your sorry my request if that you pray, that when you see me, say nothing, but think of this young family and say a pray each and every time you see me or any thing that will make you think of this Real Life Story, of this Real Life Family, and pray for them, they are not alone in having problems in this world, we all have problems, we all have lost in many ways, and we endure, but they are asking for prayer. Prayer in asking God "What now Lord", pray for strength and understanding in all this for them, they love the Lord Our God and want to be where He wants them, maybe there wave to ride for a while is in Canada, I don't know, but as I have said before God made the waves and we do have to step out and get on and ride them while here on earth, till the wave flattens. Amanda, Issac and Alana are in a crossroad right now, I know we will all pray for them, Thank you Church family and family for hearing me out, I love you all, but I know that God loves us MORE.... God Bless this sweet family and all the young family's that are trying to raise their baby's in the best way they know how. Kay
I know a lot of you know my daughter Amanda, She meet Issac while living in St Louis. She went there for more Schooling in the nursing field, I'm very proud of her getting her degree. She is a very hard worker and a fine Christian girl, God shared her with me, I am proud.... She meet a wonderful young man at her church in St Louis, they married , and they later had Alana. They may have lived happily ever after right there in the big city of St Louis, but , and there's always a but, right, well, Issac is from Mexico and they decided they wanted to make it right, so Issac turned himself in in prayer and hope to be able to become a US citizen, that's the way you should do it... He came here by crossing the boarder in Brownsville, he put a back pack on his back at 19 years old and walked across with collage students..... He later meet Amanda. Now all this young couple wanted was to do it all right. as Christians they were deeply in love and know they should marry, the wedding was Blessed by God, I know, I was there, of course, but I felt the power of God's presence there along with all there Church family and friends, it was beautiful. While waiting on all the paper work to be done, the church paid and become responsible for Issac and all seemed to be going well. Amanda became pregnant with Alana. They were in hopes that Issac would be there for the birth and not deported, but they picked him up on July 3, and he went willingly. Alana was born on the July 15Th, now I share this with you and others for prayer.. prayer is what God wants us to do, "talk to him" I know I do that, but not enough, I feel lead to ask others to pray. Truly pray. My daughter Amanda and her husband Issac have been apart now for 1 year 6 months. They paid an attorney, they have went through all the paper work. Because of the problems America is bringing up now days about illegal citizens, has cause them to not let Issac come here...the US has had this problem for a long time, it is just that now people are yelling about sharing our Country with others. People are people I understand that. My son in law Misses his wife and baby, Amanda and Issac have been able to get enough money for Alana and Amanda to go to Mexico several times, it is very expensive. Alana sees her daddy on the Internet most of the time, she Kisses and feeds her daddy now on a TV screen, I don't tell you this to feel sorry for her, I tell you this to explain that this is really happening, they live it, each and everyday... I'm asking for prayer, asking for you to share this with others for prayer. I have wrote our President, Joanne Emerson and even the Oprah show, only because It hurts to see such a fine young Christian family trying so hard to do all they can to be together. When you love someone and you can't be with them, we all have been separated from someone at some time, you actually can feel sick, very sick.... well this young family has decided that maybe if Issac can go to Canada, then Amanda and Alana can come there. Issac wants a better life and he desperately wants one for my daughter and grand daughter, so they will do this, go to Canada... I hurt to think my children have to go and live somewhere else, but I want what they want and that is to be together...... please pray with me about this, I am still trying to get to Joanne Emerson or someone who can keep my children, Issac, Amanda and Alana home in the USA.... they belong here now, Issac like many of us only wanted a better life for himself, young and desperate he made a decision to cross over, scared, you bet he was, we all our when we finally step out, and life has now happened, now he is trying to make it work. Please pray for this young man to be able to get a job in Canada and be able to reunite his family, he is trying so hard. My prayer here is not that you come up to me or write me and say your sorry my request if that you pray, that when you see me, say nothing, but think of this young family and say a pray each and every time you see me or any thing that will make you think of this Real Life Story, of this Real Life Family, and pray for them, they are not alone in having problems in this world, we all have problems, we all have lost in many ways, and we endure, but they are asking for prayer. Prayer in asking God "What now Lord", pray for strength and understanding in all this for them, they love the Lord Our God and want to be where He wants them, maybe there wave to ride for a while is in Canada, I don't know, but as I have said before God made the waves and we do have to step out and get on and ride them while here on earth, till the wave flattens. Amanda, Issac and Alana are in a crossroad right now, I know we will all pray for them, Thank you Church family and family for hearing me out, I love you all, but I know that God loves us MORE.... God Bless this sweet family and all the young family's that are trying to raise their baby's in the best way they know how. Kay
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