Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Which country do you like better was the question.

I am at this point so ready for baby and less belly, my due date is April 3 so its coming soon. The Dr. confined me to home and gave me some meds for about 10 days 3 weeks ago due to some contractions I was having. They are not gone yet but because its safe to go into labor now I dont have to take the meds or rest as much. I have had a couple people ask me questions lately that got me to think about my situation. Its funny because with out these questions being brought to me I'm just going about my merry little way like things are normal. First a boy who sells tacos on the bottom floor of our apartment was proud to tell me he knew English and that he lived in the states for 5 years. His English was actually very good and I'm glad to now be able to have a random conversation with him when passing. But then he asked me which country I liked better. I was surprised that I couldn't answer him right away, many thoughts came rushing to my mouth and I couldn't get any of them out. Here are my thoughts: I'm happier now, but does that mean I like Mexico better or that God has me to be with my husband and that's why I'm happy, I'm not stressed and feel like there is always a load of crap to do, but is this just because I'm not working yet and I have my hubby around to help me with our daughter or because things move so much slower down here. I still hold a grudge against the US gov for kicking my family out on our rears, but then again if they hadn't God would have found another way to get us here, I miss walmart-target-the dollar tree- nursing but I love that each corner has a little tienda that I have help when going to the grocery store, that I get to share my bed with my hubby and see him with our daughter. There is supposedly a lot of corruption her but isn't there in the states, There is not a lot of money here but most people here ignore the fact and live their lives, in the States people act like the world is going to end if they can buy their fav snack or new cloths. After stuttering for a min, which I never do, I finally said, "Well I was more comfortable in the states but I am starting to get comfortable in Mexico."
Then my sister asked me the other day how I was dealing with the pregnancy down here if it was more or less emotional being here with Issac or in the states without him. That one was simple. At this stage of my pregnancy my husband had been gone for 1week, my doctors had to up my dosage of prozac so I could get out of the chair in the mornings and I still cried myself to sleep every night. So if you have been reading any of my blogs lately you know that I am doing much better emotionally. My husband is such a great supporter of me and is always encouraging me. Whit Alana I hate to say that what I thought often was that I just wanted to hurry up and have her so that I could sooner travel to Mexico to be with my husband. I realized the other day that Im actually more excited about this labor rather than just feeling like I just want it to be done. My husband plans to be in the delivery room with me and he has done all his reading and studying and he is so excited about it. He had done all the reading and studying with Alana in hopes she would come before his mandatory departure date but that didn't happen. Oh and yes we asked for a few extra weeks and the government said no. Obviously I still hold a grudge maybe over the next year or so I can let that go I hope. But for now I sigh and let it roll back to the background and realize that my life is where it should be and that although money is tight we are happy, in love, and raising our family on the path that God is sending us down.

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