Friday, June 25, 2010

The perfect Day April 16th 2005

Ok so I have been wanting to write this post and just haven't done it.

Here I am with my Aunt who made all my flowers and did a lot of my pictures. For the pictures I also had a pro who was a gift from one of the guys Issac worked for. We didn't pay a dime and got tons and tons of pictures. I love pictures so this was one of the best gifts we could have gotten.

This is what the guys did while we were hard at work.

This is me and my sister shopping at hobbie lobby where they were having a 50-75percent off the entire store sale. I got almost everything that day and hardly spent anything. We got all my flowers, decorations, cake topper, and bells. We put bells out on all the seats at the wedding for people to ring.

These are of another Aunt making wonders happen. She altered my dress for me and fixed my sisters. We found her dress on sale also (have I mentioned I love sales). The straps were broken and I didn't like them anyway. We went and bought what you see now as her straps and my Aunt made it work.

Issac and I were totally spoiled by friends and family. My sister threw me a bachloret party in St. Louis with all my girl friends and Issac had his bachlor party the night before the wedding. The guys also took him for a weekend camping trip a few weeks before. My mom threw me a bridal shower in my home town which is shown above, and my sister and mom both threw us a show at our church in St. Louis that was for both the guys and the girls. Party party party it was so much fun.

My mom is the best beautician I know and did a wonderful job on my hair. I had an idea what I wanted and as always she ran with it. Oh and the veil I wore was made by the same Aunt who did my flowers, she is amazing. I actually loved her veil from her wedding and she wanted me to use it but when she pulled it out it was yellow so she made me a new one. ;)

My cake was made by a friend at church. She did an amazing job, I wanted it to be easy and didnt want anyone to have to stand around and serve everyone at this point. So we did the cupcakes. I gave her the idea, boxes of cake mix, and the topper and she made this. Isn't it so pretty. I loved it.

For the food Issacs family cooked most of it the day of the wedding at my apartment. I was amazed to see them going nutz in my little kitchen and the food was delish. Some other friends also provided different foods and drinks. When people found out I wasn't having it catered but that family was cooking they came up to offer their favorite dish. Im like heck yeah you can bring it in.

Ahhh my girls, the tall beautiful blond is my little sister (younger,lol), the short blond is a very close friend of mine, and the one with long hair is my friend who has been very close to me since I was seven years old. I love being barefooted so we all were barefooted for the wedding. I of course had bought them some flip flops to match their dresses for the before and after and decked out their feet with a heart anklet and butterfly toe rings (their flip flops and toe rings were purple and mine were white)

Here is Issac and his best men. Our good friend Ray was his best man and is who my second daughter is named after. He passed away of lymphoma almost four years ago and we still miss him dearly. The one to the far right is Issacs cousin who he was very close to growing up. And the one to the far left is a very good friend from church.

Here you can see our pastor and on the right side of the picture was our music. This guy plays beautifully and was the next best thing to having Issac play acoustic himself.

This is Issacs family doing the giving of the gifts which is done in Mexican weddings. I was so glad they provided everything for this part because I had no idea what to do. We did the laso but also a unity candle because I felt it was good to have both. We also took our first communion together and the table (or tree trunk) is back behind us. I didn't put any pictures up of it but speaking of tree trunks that's what we used for most of the seats. I had normal seats for the front few rows then the rest were tree trunks. I loved the natural look of it in front of the woods.

Can you tell it was the happiest day for us. I love this picture. We are actually laughing so hard because one of our friends who is the king of puns pointed to the lasso and said to us as we walked by, "looks like you two just tied the knot."

Monday, June 21, 2010

The downside

Although I am content and happy with my current life there are still some major downsides to this whole situation. Last night I looked at photos of a loved ones wedding and cried because I wasn't there to see her beautiful smiling face when she said, I do. Growing up I learned quickly what the word friend means and how important friends can be. As you all know from reading my posts Im a no crap kinda person. Im gonna give it to you how it is and tell you who I am. I found that when you do this with your friends they do the same and the connection cant be broken. I have one friend who has been like a sister since I was seven years old, and the rest of the girlfriends I picked up in early high school I never let go of. We were all really tight, we shared everything and still try to. Lucky for me my little sister was part of this group and another girl who is her age is the one who got married Sunday. She is one of the purest kind hearted people I know. I'm so happy for her that she has found love and got to secure that love this weekend. I'm still not sure that living in the states at this point would be a choice but visiting more often would be if only husband could go with to help out and to see our loved ones. Missing big events like this has happened frequently over the last year, but up till now they were not people so dear to my heart. These are the times I get pissed at the system and then I start to wonder how many people have no idea how bad this hurts.
Also fathers day was this very same weekend. I have tried over and over to have a good communication with my dad over this last couple years. Its not going well. He checks his e-mail but wont write back, its just nothing he ever has figured out. I finally thought Id try the texting rout but apparently he hasn't gotten that one down yet either. None of my family have been able to save enough money to come see me and my slim hopes of it ever happening is getting dimmer and dimmer. I watched older siblings move away and not stay in contact they way I wished they would. I always just knew that I would be the one to keep my kids close to their grandparents and extended family. But now that's not a choice. I know I made the choice to move here but I didn't make the choice that my husband couldn't live or even visit there.
So there it is the sob story, it sucks and it prob wont get much better as far as this goes. I think sometimes what am I going to do when close friends of mine have their first kids and I never get to meet them. Or even worse when my sisters have babies and I never get to meet them. Or what if something happens to my parents and I cant make it there to sit by there hospital bed or be with my siblings if they pass.
And so what is left for me today is to pray for God to heal my heart after this hard weekend and to help me move on without bitterness. This is the true story behind the immigration struggle and many of us will keep living it the best we know how. I'm not looking for sympathy here but I feel the point in this blog is to give, and get support, but to also to try to get the word out about what can happen when the system fails as it has over and over.

Saturday, June 19, 2010

My first Mexico Waterfall

Ok I wrote this post over a week ago and thought I posted it. Well I didnt so here it is. Ill try to read through it really fast here and see if I need to make some revisions.
So last week I was privileged enough to get to see my first waterfall and guiser (sp?) all in one day. This experience was not quite as exciting or fun as I had hoped it would be. Mainly because it wasn't in the mountains instead the waterfall was going down my stairs and the guiser was on my back patio.
After a night of wonderful rain fall I woke up to a flooded house. Each morning after rain we would have random puddles in the house and the trail from where it came had dried up. This morning when Issac was giving my my good by kiss he said, well we got enough rain to see where the water is coming from. Its coming from the door to the upstairs patio. Oh I thought half asleep well at least now we know, Ill wipe up the puddles later and find something to clog the door.
Little did Issac know from walking through the hall that all the water from the patio door had actually diverted itself into the girls room, with a small trickle going down the stairs and also filling the play room. When Joslin woke up I went plowing into at least a full inch of water in their room. I had no idea how bad it was at first but when I pulled their full comforter off their bed and threw it under my feet I knew I was in for it. The blanket just filled with water and sank to the bottom and I was still standing in a lot of water. As I'm walking down the stairs holding Joslin I notice a medium size trickle of water that is flowing down the stairs. Wow I think that must be alot of water in their room. Once downstairs I see that the trickle is not going out the front door but into the play room. I take a quick peak and realize that there is about a 4-5 foot area that has also almost an inch of water. My kitchen was also flooded but not as bad and was from the back door.
Once I fed and dressed the girls I shut them in my room with some toys. This may sound a bit cruel but for one my room is always off limits for play time so they thought they were getting a real treat. And two it was just dangerous to have them running around anywhere else. My heart sank as I went into the girls room and remembered that Alanas book shelf had broke a few days before and all her hardbound books were on the floor close to the window. At this point I wasn't sure how that much water got in so I was a little anxious. For about 2inches around her books the room was dry, the rest was soaked. That was a huge sigh of relief. Thankfully we don't keep a lot of toys in their room so the floor was pretty clean, she did have a cloth basket full of dress up cloths that got soaked and I threw it in the wash. After up turning the couch in her room so it could begin to drain I got the squidgy. I figured since the water was naturally going down the stairs thats where I would put it so here came my first waterfall. It took me a little over an hour to get all the water out of her room. Every time I would get the floor dry a new puddle would form. Finally I realized it was still coming in through the door even though the rain had stopped. Upon investigation I see that the small patio area has about 3-4 inches of water that was being relieved into the house. At first I saw no drain but when I did find it it was clear but had no water draining. So I went out to the back porch to find the outlet. This is so odd the pipe obviously was originally set under the ground of the back patio to go somewhere out side of the house.But I assume it got clogged past repair and since it was now under a concrete patio they just smashed a whole in the plaster to show part of the pipe and put a small whole about the size of a squished quarter. This little whole appeared to have a a rock in it. So I get a stick and poke it out, then a little trickle of water starts but there is what appears to be a huge hairball there. Oh yes so gross, but I continue to poke and silly me Im squatting right in front of it. I then get sprayed head to toe with gross who knows whats in it water. But it was actually really funny so even standing there alone I had to laugh at myself. I didn't have to clear the whole at this point the water did it for me. Here is a picture of that lovely spray of water. When Issac came home he made the whole into a baseball size and we have had no problems since. Well you know the little puddles that are inevitable in houses in Mexico but thank God no more flooding.

FM3 change of address

When we renewed my FM3 in December we got dinged pretty hard with a 1,000p fine for not letting them know when we moved. As you all know we have moved again and were sure to get there in the 30days. Yes we pushed it and were there on day 28 but hey Mexico does this to you. It wasn't to bad of a process we showed up with our old and new lease and a copy of my husbands ID and a copy of my FM booklet info. This is what they asked for last time. Right next to the immigration building is a place that does copies, pictures, ext. They also will go online and get the form you need, fill it out and print it out for you. We did all the above except the picture and headed into the office. We grabbed a number then noticed there was a line for elderly, disabled and pregnant women. I look only barely pregnant but we decided to give it a try. The lady behind the desk told us the people she was working on would take a long time so we should be sure to also have a number. No problem I can play lottery and stand in line and have a number. After standing there for a long time an older lady with a walker came in to get in line behind us. I dropped out of the line because she looked like she was having a harder time than me. Funny thing is at the same time I would have been called in the prego line my number was called so no big loss giving up my spot in line. We went to our window and handed over all our info. We had put the wrong date on our form so we had to leave and go back to the little office I was talking about before. This didn't take long and we headed back up. At this office if something like that happens they don't make you get a number you just go back to your window and as soon as the person is free you bring them your stuff. Then she said I needed a copy of my passport. Well crap we had copies of all other IDs but not this one. Of course it would be what they ask for. She had pity on us I suppose due to the baby belly and the fact we had a 3yr old and a 1yr old in tow. And the three year old was making it obvious we had promised her Burger King after we were done. She made the copies and had Issac hand write a solicitude saying we moved. This is unheard of they always want things typed. Which we found thankfully this time around is obsolete they are ok with things being printed off the computer. (bout freaking time). Also when she gave us our paper we were told we could check online to see if it was ready before we came back. Can I hear a hallelujah? Our immigration office finally realizes there would be less people in line if they didn't come unless their stuff was ready. Before you couldn't even call you had to come stand in line and hope yours was ready. We have been turned away twice after a two freaking hour drive. Also no application fee.. no money at all except what it took to get there.
We also read a note saying that for renewals and such you now make an appointment online and basically turn in all your info and forms online and when you show up you bring the originals and copies but at that point they would have been able to let you know if you need more info. Then we were off for a quick stroll down town some Burger King and home. I'm so glad to see them getting more into the net and computers this helps A LOT.
So in case your here on an FM3 and you move be sure to let them know and its not to hard to do so.

Friday, June 18, 2010

Seguro: Three month visit

First things first for my last appointment I was told that I needed blood work and an ultrasound done preferably before the next appointment in one month. I was to take the papers the doctor printed out and gave us and bring them to the IMSS hospital lab area to make my appointment. Due to our new situation with my husband always needing the truck every day a friend of mine was kind enough to take me to make my appointments. Thankfully she is fluent in Spanish and English so the few things I didn't quite catch she filled me in. We simply walked up to the desk that said Lab and gave them my papers and booklet. She was sure to check when my next dr. appointment was and made the blood work for a week before the appointment at 7am. She gave me two copies of paper that had all the information on it and what I was to do, she also handed me a glass jar. I was to fast that morning and to bring my urine sample back with me in the jar. My friend assured me that there would be a lot of people there when I showed up but that I would be out by 8am. I didn't believe her. Then we walked to the next desk which said X-ray and handed over the ultrasound papers. She also checked the date of my next appointment but couldn't get me into the ultrasound until Aug. I took the appointment knowing I would need one around then anyway. They also explained that their printer wasn't working so I needed to bring back two copies of the paper they gave me when I came back in Aug. The next week we went to the private ultrasound place and spent 450p ( a lot for us, but hopefully don't have to do this often) and were in and out in minuets. The technician was great and talked all the way through it and explained everything even to my daughter who is three but totally interested and excited to get to see her new baby brother. Oh yes its a boy, I'm thinking I may have mentioned this already but not sure. It was really early I was only 13 weeks but it was clear as day and the guy said he isn't suppose to point it out that early but it was so clear I saw it before he said anything. He then gave me a paper with my datos (I think that's how they say it) which was all the info and a x-ray type copy of the pictures. We of course then went out for tacos to celebrate that we were having a boy and over tacos decided this would be our last. Whoo hooo!!!!!!!!!!!!1
Ok sorry I digress, ehh! Last week, thankfully Issacs aunt came over to stay the night before my blood work. So that morning I woke up and complained about not getting to eat, I peed in my jar, got ready and waited on my husband to get ready. After dropping him off at work I headed to the hospital lab. When I got there it was packed already, for sure at least 60 people who were there before me. At about 715 they started calling names, the lady would have them put their jars if they had one on a metal cart and she would put a sticker on top and hand them a paper with more stickers and have them form a line. After about 30 or 40 names she went back to her desk and I assumed that she was making more stickers for the rest of us. I was right also I think this was necessary to let the line shrink down some. It was obvious there were two lines being formed and so I assumed two blood drawers. There was a third and it was also obvious that this was for the elderly or disabled.
My name was called about 730ish or so and I handed over my bottle and got my stickers and stood in line where told. Then a lady came out and took my paper from me and the others around me. The line kept moving and at one point the lady came back with my paper and empty blood vials with my stickers on them. I asked her after this was over if I needed to come back for my results or not and she said no that they would be in the system. When it came to my turn it was no funny business the guy said, "sit down put your arm out squeeze your hand." I did as told and it was obvious I didn't know what I was doing so the nurse gently folded my paper and told me to put it in my purse and to present it at my next dr. appointment. And before I knew it he was telling me to get up. Really that's what he said. So although you kind of feel like a cow in a heard it went fast and with no hassle. And when I did have questions they were quick to answer for me.
We didn't expect to much in a way of surprise for the dr. visit and once again we got some. My appointment was at 530pm and as soon as the receptionist took my wt and wrote a few things in my book she said, "Go on in."
I said, "ahorita" (right now) with surprise in my voice.
Si.. si... she meant right then and there no waiting. Surprise number one.
We sat down and the doctor actually addressed me and not my husband which was a little different than last time and she spoke slowly and clearly. Surprise number two.
First she asked me if I had the results for my lab work and I told her they told me it would be in the system. She had me bring my paper out to the receptionist who quickly pulled up the results and printed them out for the doctor. We also explained the ultrasound and she was glad we kept the Aug appointment anyway because we would need one then. She asked me all the normal questions of how I was feeling, first ever menstruation and when was the last, details about both my previous pregnancies and labors ext ext. She then took my blood pressure, checked my feet for swelling and sat down to review my blood work and ultrasound. Every thing is good, then she asked about what type of birth control we were planning to use after the baby. I found this odd for the 3 mo appointment but was glad she asked because we were wondering if the Seguro offered surgery and which ones. We found out that they would be more than happy to do which ever we choose. Surprise number three. We had read that Mexico has been big on birth control over the last few years but this was still a surprise to me. And to be honest at our age some doctors in the US would give us trouble about wanting a permanent fix so to speak.
Then she explained that this was a low risk pregnancy and this would be the last time I see her unless something went wrong. Surprise four I will be seeing the nurses from here on out. I love the idea and think its great. For both my other ones I felt that seeing a dr every month and telling them what they already knew was a little excessive.
She also said that she wanted me to see a dentist because of the problems pregnancy can cause on teeth. I about fell through the floor. Surprise five we are racking them up today. For Joslin I went to a private doctor and I was actually the one to suggest the dentist appointment and hes like sure what ever.
So the doctor printed out our papers to make the dentist appointment (the office door next door), to make my nurse appointment, and to get the refills for my vitamins from the pharm. We walked next door and made my dentist appointment. I asked the nurse if it was possible to also make one for my daughter at the same time so she could watch me then have her turn. Im pretty sure she has at least one cavity on a molar. When she was more than happy to do so Issac asked if it was possible to get us all three in. Sure why not it would just be two days later than the other one would have been. How cool we all get to have our appointments on the same day. Surprise six.
We then went to the nurses station and made my appointment with them, and went to the pharm and got my free vitamin supplements.

Done deal in about an hour. Surprise number seven. I like that number.

I hope I'm helping all to understand that public health care can be a good thing. I am for sure learning that.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

My Spanish

While I know I need a lot of work still and will continue to work on getting better Im glad to say I'm no longer the woman I never wanted to be. You see as a nurse in St. Louis I frequently had women patients who couldn't speak for themselves do to a language barrier. I always felt so bad for them and hated the fact that I had to ask an interpreter such personal questions. I also wondered if this was a choice they had made or if they had actually tried to learn English and couldn't. I still wonder this and know that it was prob different for each person. But my first couple years here I was devastated to see myself in this same situation. To know that as badly as I wanted to express myself I couldn't. But I am finally at a place where I feel like if I had to I could go to a dr. appointment alone and be ok. For sure I know I can communicate with the nurses alone. I do have to admit that when my husband is there I let him do a lot of the talking just because it is easier. And at times I wonder if these women had done the same. But you see this is all going to become very important in about 5 months because Im pretty sure at the seguro Issac will not be allowed in the delivery room.
But this week I have overcome another obstacle. You see one of my favorite things about Mexico is servicio Domicilio, or delivery service. As we all know in the states really the only thing that gets delivered is pizza, and a few sandwich places do. But here you can get anything delivered. I actually asked my Tia the other day if this is everywhere in Mexico or just here. I tend to expect that anything that is different to me here is the same everywhere and Iv found from friends who live all over Mexico that this is not always the case. But servicio domicilio is apparently a country wide thing. When I say everything I mean, your medications and or baby formula from the pharmacies (and you don't have to be old or debilitated to get this), meat of any kind including mariscos (seafood), and pretty much every restaurant. I think the only thing missing is dairy and fruit, I almost wonder if this is something I just haven't tried or do they really not deliver. Anyway all of that to say that this week I have ordered my meat from two different places. I say two different places because this means that I didn't get the chance to speak to the same person both times. But they understood everything I said and I didn't have to repeat or look for another word one time. I did have to ask them to repeat a couple times but not enough to frustrate them. Oh and this may be obvious but its important to be sure you understand that this was done ON THE PHONE. Up till now I have been insanely frightened to speak on the phone in Spanish. Here is what broke that fear. I have a friend who is Mexican she is married to an American man. Her English is good but she is very self conscious of it and because I just don't care anymore how I sound I try my best to conversation with her in Spanish. She is the one we got our cat from and so I had to call her and set up a time for us to go to her house. After getting off the phone I realized most of our conversation had been in Spanish. I didn't realize at first because there was no confusion or repeating. When we did make it to their house her husband told me that she actually commented on how proud she was that my Spanish is so much better. This gave me the confidence to try and order my own meat, well that and necessity. You see our new house is to far from Issacs work for him to come home every day for lunch (I miss him). Before I would hand him the phone and say call now please.... And he would. But now I cant do that and by the time he is off work its to late. So there you go necessity combined with accidental conversations builds confidence. And Im more and more getting to be myself and the person I know I am. ;)
This deserves a drink... to bad Im prego. lol