Thanks to a fellow bloggers story of how a family member walked off with her baby and nursed it, I remembered a post I had wanted to write. It is true that the norm with babies here is different than at home. I noticed it when I would visit my husband with my first baby. Complete strangers would just walk up and put their arms out to hold her, honestly at first I told a lot of people no. The first person I told yes was a girl who worked with my husband at the hotel. But as soon as I handed the baby she turned and walked behind the desk to a room I could no longer see. After about 10 min of craning my neck to try to see where she had my baby I made my husband go retrieve her.
This brings me to my most current situation. When I was in Yahualica with the mission group we all meet back at the church to eat. Well as is par for the course here one of the sisters from the other church came up and put her hands out to hold the baby. She seemed like someone everyone knew and looked reliable, so I handed over the baby. I sit down to eat and I swear not even 10min later on my third or fourth look up to check on her she was no where to be seen. I sat there for a min waiting for her to come back through the door and nothing. I got up and looked around outside and nowhere. Finally I asked one of the other ladies from the church, "Donde esta mi nina.?" And I did my best to sound like I was not completely freaking out. She explained that the girl that was holding her left to go into town for more paper plates. OMG that's like a 10min walk or so one way. She was gone with my baby for a good 30 min. I just had to keep praying for safety and for God to keep me calm. Something like that would never happen in the states.... EVER...
But she did come back and Joslin was placed safely back in my arms where she belonged. ;)
I like how people down here seem to share the care of children. I'm happy my little boy has his grandma and his uncles and aunts to help raise him (and to rock him while I scarf a quick lunch!) It's a richer family lifestyle than I extend to non family members too.
ReplyDeleteHowever, while it may be great that the village raises the child (so to speak), when I'm an outsider to that village it brings up some big cultural differences!
I'm left wondering how much to try to adapt to the culture here, and how much to ask people to adapt to me. In the end I just have to trust my "instincts" (however culturally based they may be) and demand that people not just walk off with my baby, or nurse him.
I'm glad to hear you trust your gut feelings. I find it hard to tell people "no" when they want to hold him, but I think it's important!
Good luck! And keep your darlings close! :)
OMG!! Someone nursed another woman's baby without permission?? Someone walked off with your baby and went to the store? I've never heard stories like this. You're very trusting, Amanda! Did you say something to the lady? I might of had some choice words for her...
ReplyDeletethe things I do while "out" of my "cultural norm" (upbringing is what I am referring to by norm) never cease to amaze me...I totally agree with that "gut" feeling....not being a mother, myself, it brings a whole new perspective to my thinking...glad things worked out-and props to you for trying to feel things out!
ReplyDeleteYikes, i probably would have paniced also. Glad she was alright though.
ReplyDeleteVadose-there are a lot of things I like here about how they do kids but other things that scare me to death.
ReplyDeleteAlice-Check out Vadoses blog she commented right before you. Read her post from about a week ago
Disfrutando la vida- yeah Im learning slowly but surely
Rebecca- Its taken me over a year believe me if this would have happened when I first got here I would have snapped.
FOR SERIOUS !!??? Oh my gosh, oh my gosh! I'm pregnant with my first and I'm glad you wrote this! I was reading in my baby book last night that it's a good idea not to have people besides family in the home touch or hold baby for the first 6-8 weeks. (germs) And I was freaking out about what I would do with his FAMILY - I didn't know strangers would come into play.
ReplyDeleteWhat in the world do I do?
AND, thank you for your blog, I've been searching for others like me and I found you through "Refried Dreams." I'm so happy I finaly found others in my situation who understand, I was thinking I wouldn't, but here you all are.
Gringa in Mexico-girl we are all over just check out all the people who follow our blogs. Most of them are just like us. Some of them are retired expats but may have some good advise about a thing or two. If your looking to know more about mexico in gen look at Mexico bob. Hes a great writer and has ton of info. Its how I learn about most of the traditions here my husband isnt very good at telling me these things. Anyway Im gonna check out your blog
ReplyDeleteOh my lord! You never told us this happened. I would have freaked out.
ReplyDeleteSamantha Yeah Im so glad your on. I know I forget to tell you all some of these stories that's why Im glad you are reading.
ReplyDeleteAmanda - Thank You for telling me about Mexico Bob - it sounds great! My husband doesn't know a lot about stuff like that since he grew up state-side and I want to be able to teach my baby about stuff like that. So thanks a bunch! :)
ReplyDeletedamn! i would have lost it... Lucha libre would have come to yahualica! i don't know how you kept your cool, but thank God, Jasmin is back safe and sound.
ReplyDeletesorry, Joslin... :D
ReplyDeleteGringa-no problem, honestly these blogs have been such a strength for me.
ReplyDeleteDreamer-It had to be God that kept me as cool and collect as I was. I was screaming inside. Oh and I just remembered to tell my husband the other day and he was so upset that I hadnt told him and he said, "You shouldn't be so trusting." And Im like what would you have done...
And the answerer was the same thing I did. But its amusing to me that it made him as nervous as me.