I know I have in the past posted about our struggles with going to church here in Mexico. A couple months ago we decided to have church at home by ourselves, for a few different reasons which I wont restate. Well my husband finally got a Sunday off so we decided to go to the early service, (11am). We didn't go until around noon because the music is really loud for the baby. As par for the course we were kissed and our hand shook as we came in. The pastor seemed excited to see we had come back and wrote down where out new apartment is. (although we have never been visited even when they did know where our apartment was, we even gave like three different people at church our phone numbers) They had someone to care for the children so that was a relief. But even with out Alana the service was slightly stressful. My husband has a bit of trouble keeping up with the pastor in his translating, and sometimes just forgets to translate. So I get a disjointed sermon that sometimes doesn't make any sense. Throughout the 2 hour service my husband and I both went through feelings of frustration. But all through the service I kept feeling that no matter what I got out of the service and no matter how frustrating it was, that God expects me to be persistent and try to meet him in his House, as well as in mine. So even though I was almost in tears on the way home I know that we need to try to go to a service each week. Even if it is the evening service and my daughter is out past bedtime. AHHH Church has never been so hard for me. When I first started going back to church at the age of 21 or so I was looked at sideways from everyone in the room. They all knew what I had been doing over the last few years but I didn't care, I knew I was there for God and they didn't matter to me. Then when I moved to St. Louis going to churches where no one knew me and no one talked to me didn't matter either because again I knew I was there for God. But this....
I get almost nothing out of the services, people give us dirty looks because they think my husbands translating is us talking in the middle of service, and no one wants to talk to the me because it takes a lot of effort, and who has time for that.
But this is what I feel the Lord is wanting me to endure. I have no idea what he has in store for us but I know that if we pass through this he will show us. He always does. So for those of you readers who are praying people please pray for us to have the strength and patience we need to go every week.
Amanda,
ReplyDeleteI don't think you should have to struggle in church. I think God wants you to have peace in your heart and not stress, especially when you are in church. Yes, I will pray for you that God shows you the way to peace and tranquility through His infinite grace.
Ohhh I feel for you!! ALSO I give you so much credit for even attempting to go! There is no way I'd be able to understand anything. I think the best thing to do is be patient, and yes I realize it's easier sad than done!!! Before you realize it - you'll understand in no time!
ReplyDeleteSending lots of support your way !!!
ReplyDeleteI hope things get easier as your Spainsh gets better - maybe church is another place to help that process ??
We have not had a Temple to attend in MX. I am looking forward to resuming that part of our life in USA with our Jewish community.
As always, you and your family are in our prayers. Getting into a place like that - not able to even understand the language - and to still press through to Christ will build your faith in ways that not many other people will ever experience. I know that it's not very much consolation, but your persistence is as clear a sign as any that God is still developing your relationship.
ReplyDeleteIt makes me think of the woman with the issue of blood. Against what everyone was expecting her to do in the crowd and against her own "better judgement" she pushed through the throng just to touch Jesus garment. He knew immediately.
This is you pushing through, and He knows.
Bob-I agree that God doesnt want us to be miserable but I do feel that our opinion of what miserable is needs to change sometimes. I do feel he expects us to toughen up and follow his guide even if its not what we want at the moment.
ReplyDeleteOMT- Your right, I actually told my husband that I felt like if I dont go how will I ever understand.
AMMIM-Im happy for you to get to have fellowship again. Please dont stop blogging, I loved you blogs over Christmas last year.. You know my Savior was a Jew and there is no reason I shouldn't know more about the Jewish religion.
Brian-as always thank you, You and Samanthas support has meent more to me than most this last year.
You are a strong woman. I will be praying for you. I pray that God will bring some people from the church into your life to help you meet people and feel comfortable. Unfortuantly churches can be cliquey and intimidating. Be strong, God will meet you there!
ReplyDeleteI so glad I found your blog. I lived in Mexico for a year after college and I know what you are going through. I want to give you some encouragement and a little advise that I think will help. When you go to church try to write down words that you hear even if you don't know if you spelled them right or not. Do that for one service and the next one have your husband write down for you a few things the preacher is saying the next time. Also try to have him translate most every thing else after church. You can also ask him to look at the words that you wrote and see if any on them are real words, after a while they will be. Church and a little conversation elsewhere and a Spanish /English bible was the only thing I learned from when I was there then when I came back and was working in a Spanish church mission I started understanding nearly everything that I heard. God Bless and take a look at my blog please!
ReplyDeleteJenifer- Thanks that actually sounds like a pretty good idea, especially about him translating for me after and not during service. This will make me try harder to understand and give us a little devotional time of our own later on. I did try to look at your blog but you had a bunch. Do you have a personal one? I like the Your body his temple one.
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