Tuesday, October 6, 2009
My firs Mexican nontruth
I remember shortly after I moved here reading in the online book, The Trick to Living In Mexico, about the nontruths of the Mexican people. (this is a great book by the way and I have a link to it on my home page) Anyway this section of the book spoke of how Mexicans tend to tell what we would consider "little white lies" fairly frequently. I was raised that even the smallest lies lead to larger ones and for most cases I still believe this to be true. When I first read this it helped me to understand my husband a bit and realize these occurrences were just a cultural thing he had grown up with. I like that she called them nontruths, because my husband is a great guy and I hatted to think that he would intentionally lie to people or me for that matter. And I always knew his mother was a great Christian women and to me this seemed like loose morals. Ok so here is an example from when we first got together. Him and I had plans one night but someone asked us if we would come hang out with them. He would say, "Ok we will see you there." Then when the time came we would do whatever we had originally planned. I would be like, "didn't we tell so and so, such and such." And he would be like,"Yeah." and end of story. Seriously I could go into a thousand specific examples. Like when we first moved here and frequently his family would say they would come over for dinner. I would cook tons of food and no one would show up. I know now, why, when you visit people no one cooks until your already at there house. Click, it all fits into place. They all know they do it and its so natural they have just adjusted to it. So one of my husbands Aunts (specifically the one who was very inconsiderate to me when I first moved here, regarding my lack of Spanish), has asked... no demanded that I teach her and her family English. So because I already have lesson plans made up from my other student I told them no problem and we set up a time for them to come over. They live about 20min away so after a few weeks of no shows I figured they didn't really want to learn. On our next visit out there she asked... no again demanded that I go out there, because gas for me was cheaper than them to all get buss tickets. I agreed with that and agreed that I would try. Well later I got to thinking about how rude it was of her to demand such a thing, not only free classes but for me to drive to them. And by the way they have a van that would fit the whole family and it actually would be as cheap for them to drive here as me to drive to them. So I changed my mind and decided not to go. A few weeks later during a visit out there (My husbands grandma who we all love lives out there to, so we go to visit her)I was asked by this same Aunt why I hadn't come. First I told the truth, that we didn't have enough money for gas because we had decided on Wednesdays and my husband gets payed on Thursdays. Then out it came the Mexican untruth, "Ill try next week" I said. And she shook her head and the conversation was over. It was weird to me because conversations are never over with her she usually finds something to argue with me about. Its like she knew what I was doing and was almost happy with it. And the craziest part is that I didn't even realize what I had done until later. This is very strange for me because I am a very upfront and sometimes brutally honest type of person. When I told my husband about it he just laughed and said, "Your turning into a Mexican honey."