Monday, June 21, 2010

The downside

Although I am content and happy with my current life there are still some major downsides to this whole situation. Last night I looked at photos of a loved ones wedding and cried because I wasn't there to see her beautiful smiling face when she said, I do. Growing up I learned quickly what the word friend means and how important friends can be. As you all know from reading my posts Im a no crap kinda person. Im gonna give it to you how it is and tell you who I am. I found that when you do this with your friends they do the same and the connection cant be broken. I have one friend who has been like a sister since I was seven years old, and the rest of the girlfriends I picked up in early high school I never let go of. We were all really tight, we shared everything and still try to. Lucky for me my little sister was part of this group and another girl who is her age is the one who got married Sunday. She is one of the purest kind hearted people I know. I'm so happy for her that she has found love and got to secure that love this weekend. I'm still not sure that living in the states at this point would be a choice but visiting more often would be if only husband could go with to help out and to see our loved ones. Missing big events like this has happened frequently over the last year, but up till now they were not people so dear to my heart. These are the times I get pissed at the system and then I start to wonder how many people have no idea how bad this hurts.
Also fathers day was this very same weekend. I have tried over and over to have a good communication with my dad over this last couple years. Its not going well. He checks his e-mail but wont write back, its just nothing he ever has figured out. I finally thought Id try the texting rout but apparently he hasn't gotten that one down yet either. None of my family have been able to save enough money to come see me and my slim hopes of it ever happening is getting dimmer and dimmer. I watched older siblings move away and not stay in contact they way I wished they would. I always just knew that I would be the one to keep my kids close to their grandparents and extended family. But now that's not a choice. I know I made the choice to move here but I didn't make the choice that my husband couldn't live or even visit there.
So there it is the sob story, it sucks and it prob wont get much better as far as this goes. I think sometimes what am I going to do when close friends of mine have their first kids and I never get to meet them. Or even worse when my sisters have babies and I never get to meet them. Or what if something happens to my parents and I cant make it there to sit by there hospital bed or be with my siblings if they pass.
And so what is left for me today is to pray for God to heal my heart after this hard weekend and to help me move on without bitterness. This is the true story behind the immigration struggle and many of us will keep living it the best we know how. I'm not looking for sympathy here but I feel the point in this blog is to give, and get support, but to also to try to get the word out about what can happen when the system fails as it has over and over.

13 comments:

  1. Hugs sweetie. I really don't know what to say other than i am sending love and prayers your way.

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  2. Hugs mama, some of it may be pregnancy hormones too.
    It's so hard being so far away. I thought too that my family would come visit more than they do. But they all seem to want us to go back East, rather than them coming to see us here in Mexico.
    The hwole process is making you a VERY strong woman and mother. Your rocking it! Take care and smile today!

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  3. Amanda,
    Google Skype and download it. It is free. You can talk to other people for free if they also have Skype and if they don't you can still call them on Skype and talk to them on their phone for about 2 cents per minute. You deposit five bucks with Skype and that will last you a long time. I call my sister and we talk for a long time for less than a dollar. If you need any help with this just send me an e-mail. I think that Skype would help you tremendously.

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  4. Hey, sweetie hang in there. And don't let stupid idiot voices of people that should be hung up by their toe nails get to you when you feel doubtful. I know you don't most of the time, but sometimes Satan uses the voices of loser people. We love you and trust me we will do whatever we can to come see you again after Mateo is born. Brian is still holding onto going to Ireland next summer, but I think he's coming around to the idea of Mexico. Just don't have anymore kids so we can go to Ireland the summer after that. Okay? And we'll try not to have any either until after we go to Ireland.

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  5. Your husband and your kids are the most important thing. I understand how you feel seeing mi esposo go through the same thing and if it were me I would do just what you are doing. Living with my family near is nice and has its annoyances believe me but at the end of the day my kids and my husband are what matters above all else.

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  6. Ok so I normaly dont get back on here this quickly but I just reread my post and all you wonderful coments. I want you all to know that after my rant, some loud praise and worship music, play time with my girls, and a nap I feel fully refreshed. Works every time. Thanks for listening.
    Bob I do have a question. I use skype frequently for video confrence with friends and family. But my dad apparently is allergic to his high speak internet and computer which I downloaded skype to and set up a camera on last time I was there. Does the phone thing need for him to do anything other answer his phone. And does it call land lines or cell and does the cost differ. I have a friend who uses her phone through skype but she is also on the computer when she does it so I'm a little confused as to how that works. I don't have your e-mail so I'm asking on here. ;)

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  7. I'm so sorry, girl. I hope you can form tight bonds in Mexico like you did in the States.

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  8. Aww amanda, I hope that your family is able to visit one day, or that you are able to visit one day, soon! I know it must be impossible to go up there by yourself with 3 kids! I think also the people in the states have no idea how hard it is to live in another country and not be able to visit so often! But I pray that you guys will be able to have it easier soon enough! But, hang in there it must get easier! I also use one airline and get fflyer miles, which helps get free flights! Once the kids are in school you could always do that one, when you can work! So hang in there it won't be like this forever!

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  9. Being far from family and friends IS #1 the hardest part...un abrazo, amiga!

    Right now, Skype has a promo going on during the World Cup. If you sign up for the promo, you can call the country of your choice (has to be a country playing in the World Cup) for free until July 11th. But you have to cancel before the World Cup ends or they will charge you their monthly fee (which is $6.99 for unlimited calls to the US). www.skype.com/go/football

    And, yes, all your dad has to do is pick up his real phone as if it were a normal call. We usually call our parents through Skype this way since they, too, have phobias of the computer.

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  10. Amanda, your post brought tears to my eyes remembering how much I missed my family while living with my husband in Peru, now I miss my husband. I'm sorry that anyone has to go through what we are going through, but I'm glad you're feeling better now. I pay $2.95 a month for my husband to have unlimited calls to the US - this includes both landlines and cell phones - so he can call me anytime from his computer in Peru. I think this plan is only for US residents, but I originally set up my account in the US with a US credit card that has a US billing address, so I'm not sure whether or not this would work in your situation, but it might be worth a try. PS. I'm adding you to my blog roll, hope you don't mind!

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  11. Amanda, my husband uses a magic jack and it works great. It costs $20 a year for unlimited calls to US numbers (cell or landline) plus you get a US number that people can call you on. Send me an email if you want to know more!

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  12. I've heard about Magic Jack and seems to be a good deal. About the Skype... it is much cheaper to call landlines than cell phones. But it is still cheaper to call cell phones with Skype than using a calling card.

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  13. Also Gil has vonage I got it here in the US and mailed it to him! It cost like 20 USD a month and then we have a local number and anyone and everyone can call free from their landline. My lawyer suggested it, you hook it up to your high speed internet box, then hook a regular phone in it! Also do you guys have cablemas in your area? My husband works for them and they have a new rate something like 200 mins to the US for 100 pesos cada mes! Go to their website they are getting new stuff to talk to everyone more often! But vonage is the best in my opinion, it is worth the 20.00 each month, they also have worldwide, where you can call all numbers in mexico included for the 20-30 a month. Another option, get a mexican line and then call the US free? Hang in there, something will work out!

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