Good bye tienda

So the owner of my building is apparently off to the states to try and make some money for his family. Apparently he went broke building this place. He had to close his store and we will be paying rent directly to his wife. So they cleaned out the store yesterday. I watched from my window as they haled everything to their van. Yesterday evening when my husband came home he went in to chat with them a bit. He wishes he hadn't. Ok we all know these little tiendas have to be crawling with roaches. But we buy what we need and move on, its not like we are living there. This particular tienda was one of the cleanest and neatest Iv ever seen. There was no product on the floor everything was up on shelves and the floor was mopped with bleach more than once a day. My husband said when he went in to chat he was so grossed out. The owner was even taking the curtains down and had to shake them out and bugs were falling off of them. My husband shuddered as he was telling me which made me glad I didn't see it. Like I said we all know but who wants to actually see it. So we sprayed our door and window frames so hopefully they don't try to relocate in our house. Anyway sad to see the store go but there is a great one with great owners right across the street. And I hope this guy can get what money he needs and get back to his family. They have 4 boys between the ages of 7 and 9mo. I hope she will let us know if she needs any help with anything I don't know if they have family in the area. This type of thing happens a lot and is why Issacs family thought I was nutz for moving here. They thought I should just stay in the states and work and send money. But for me that is now way to live. Id rather be broke and have my family together.

Thankfull-My day

I am thankfull for the slow down in my life. Although sometimes I think it is going to drive me crazy I know it is good for me and my family. So here is a day in the life of me. I wake up at 6 or 7 when ever my alarm clock goes off. My alarm clock is my 6month old wanting to eat. I feed here and during this time judge whether or not she wants to go back to bed. Usually she doesn't so I put her in her bouncy seat and make the coffee. I then do some sort of excessive while going and smiling at the baby to keep her happy. By now my coffee is done and I'm ready to sit down and do my bible study. Around now my husband is either gone for work or getting up and getting ready. (his start time changes from day to day) Either way when he gets up I poor his coffee and if we have something set out something for him to eat on the way to work. We exchange our good mornings, I love yous, kisses and hes off. Right about now (or in the middle of my bible study depending on little bit got hungry) My 3 year old yells from her room, "Mommy I go potty." Thankfully now this means she needs to go potty and not that she has gone. I go give her lots of morning love and kisses and most likely ask her to help me pull her sheets off the bed because she has gone potty at some point in the night. We eat breakfast together and I read her some bible verses, and we sort of talk about them. She is after all 3. Then its time to clean house and get laundry started. By the time Im done with that the baby is ready for a short morning nap and its alone time with the 3 yr old. Then we play ( I love this part) and or read books together all three of us. Now its time for lunch and nap time for my 3yr old and sometimes the baby at the same time. Sometime in here papi comes home for lunch. I love that we get to spend lunch together we usually discuss our days and I tell him all the cute things the girls have done. Sometimes now I take a nap, or start or finish a project or get online, something for me. Then when the girls get up from their nap we have a snack. Then more play time and most likely a movie unless she watched one in the morning time. I only let her watch 2hours or less of TV/Movies a day. So this usually consists of Peep and the Big Wide World and a Movie. Most days we experiment with what ever she learned on Peep. Throughout the day the baby moves from the floor on or half off her blanket with toys, her bouncy seat, the highchair when we are eating, or surrounded by pillows in the floor so she can practice sitting up. Sometimes the 3 yr old will be caught giggling and playing with "baby sister." Also the three yr old right now loves to pretend she and the rest of us are characters from her movies. We love to play along. Then I cook dinner and hopefully papi is home in time to eat with us. Most days he is but when not the 3 yr old wont eat well. I think shes sick of me by dinner and unless papi is at the table she just doesn't eat. Then most days its bath time, PJ's time, Book time, sing a song and off to bed. Now is when me and papi get our time to read our study and talk, then watch our favorite shows. We go to bed at a decent time most nights. Randomly we get to go out and we always wait till we have the girls in bed. Also randomly during the day I will take the girls on a walk or when papis off and can help me we go to the park or do something fun.

Iv learned how to say... "That can wait till tomorrow." And let me tell you what that is a big deal for me. And I realize now that most things can wait until tomorrow. Now I wont take it as far as my Mexican husband and keep saying this forever. lol But at least now I can say it for most things and mean it and not be anxious about what ever it is.

I love all this time with my girls and the fact that I get to teach them and play with them.

A better perspective

So aside from my previous rant I have been trying hard to put my life in a more positive perspective. And honestly I have but I have not written about it. Thanks to this lovely post by Bob I am going to. http://mexicobob.blogspot.com/2009/09/ademas-de-mal.html
I try my hardest not to complain out loud about a lot of stuff about being here because I can see the pain in my husbands eyes when I do. I do of course talk to him about things when its necessary but I think this is why my blog sometimes takes a negative turn. But this is going to change and I plan to show the whole picture.
Don't get me wrong I'm not going to try to paint over things that are real and true and/or only show people the good, but I do need to show people the good.
I'm going to start with my husband, warning this may be absolutely mushy so don't read on if you cant handle it. lol Well first of all my husband still mentions to me often how happy and blessed he feels that I chose to move here with him. I often wake up to him moving the hair out of my face as he prays over me in the mornings before he goes to work. He knows my struggles of being a stay at home mom and prays for me for it. When we first got married my husband was closed up tight and was so hard to truly get down deep with. After our 2 years of living in different countries and us going through some turmoil he is now ready and willing to talk to me about how he feels. And he often recognizes without me telling him if he regresses to not being open. When I was pregnant with Joslin our second daughter he read a book called, The Expectant Father. It told him what I was going through in my body, the best way to respond, and it helped him to know that others had felt how he was feeling. It was so good and it kept us so close during my pregnancy, labor, and after the baby. My husband does his best to find us a babysitter so we can go out just us and sometimes with friends. He agrees with me that our relationship comes before our children and through this our kids will grow up in strong home. He helps me to think of romantic ways to spend an evening at home if that is all we can do and most of the time these nights are better than going out. We do a bible study together and do our best to do it on a nightly basis. No matter what hes doing if Im the one that remembers he drops what he has going on and sits down with me. This shows me how he cares about our relationship and keeping God as our number one. Its so nice to have him around. During the time we were living apart often I cried a lone and this is no longer necessary. He actually gets upset if I try to go into a different room and hide my tears. He wants me to have him near to hold me and help me through what ever I'm going through. Anything I go through here is worth just this alone. To have someone who loves you hold you through your tears is so perfect. I still feel like a newlyweed even after almost 5years. I know that is not a long time but we have been through a lot in that first 5 years. He still tells me how gorgeous I am to him, sometimes more than once a day. And is always close by for a kiss or a hug for no reason. (ok I told you it would get mushy)
As a father my husband exceeds all my expectations. He reads all the books I read about our daughters and the ages they are in. He helps with any projects we have for our 3 yr old. Even after working all day he helps to feed, change, bath, and put my girls to bed. And when I say put my girls to bed they get a book (sometimes 2) and a song every night. Some nights he does the whole routine and not only that sometimes he tells me to sit out (and I do the same at times). On top of all this he loves it and it shows. This fills my heart with so much joy it feels it could burst. Right now he is playing X-Box with his cousin but the baby is between his legs playing with toys while he bounces her from leg to leg because she cant sit up on her own totally. And the 3 yr old is climbing on his shoulders and laughing out loud when ever he and his cousin do.
When I read the verse about God providing more than we could ever dream I think of my husband. Seriously before we met a bible study leader encouraged me to write down what I wanted in my husband and to be honest about it. He told me to pray over this and that I would be surprised one day. I did this and prayed over it for a year or so and was dating someone that I tried to make it fit to. That relationship didn't work. After my husband asked me to marry him I pulled this list out of my bible and realized he fit it to a tee. He was not only what I wrote down but what I meant when I wrote it. I have him the list because I didn't need it anymore. I'm so thankful for my husband. So if anyone ever wonders why I live in Mexico I will just send them to this post.

not allowed in school

Ok so I really am trying to be positive but I have found something about the Mexican public school system that is just making me fume inside. One of my husbands cousin is 16years old. We hadn't seen her in like a few months and she hadn't stopped in like she use to. We wanted to go out the other night so called her mom to see if she could babysit. She said she could if she wanted to but that we needed to be aware that she was pregnant. Well crap there goes another one (my 16yr old niece in the states just had her first son). I don't condemn these girls because I know its not my place. But also because I would have been in their same position had I not had an older sister who forced me to go to the clinic as soon as she found out I lost my virginity. But what I do is to be sure they know and understand everything that is happening to them and what they can do to try and keep their lives on track. My niece is getting her GED and has hopes to someday go to college when that rout is available to her. For now she is doing her best with the also young father to make her new young little family work. So today I brought all my prego cloths over to our cousin (when she came to baby sit last night she was in some way tight pants and a sweater that was way to tight also. She kept saying how hot she was. So I explained to her that its not good to have constricting clothing on and helped her to see that she could look pretty in the cloths I brought without hurting herself of the baby. At the park today I talked with her a lot about how things were going like if the dad was in the picture. He is and they plan to get married, but he will move in with her family for a bit until the baby is bigger and they feel more equipped to care for him. When I asked if she was in school, she said no and looked so sad about it. I told her that now it was more important than ever to get her education. Yes she knows this but she is not allowed. Girls who get pregnant are kicked out of school. My jaw dropped to the floor and I was so mad that I actually couldn't speak in Spanish for a min I was kind of going off in English. After I calmed down I told her I was very sorry to hear this and knew there was nothing more I could say. How in a country that says the care about their children can you have such a rule. At least have a separate place for them to go or something. I'm not talking about a private school here people I'm talking about a public one. And even if there were a private school that would accept her they couldn't afford it. So there it is if teenagers who make mistakes are given no chance to better their future then Mexico cant expect to excel much as a country. OUR CHILDREN ARE OUR FUTURE... and the teenagers are our more immediate future. I'm seriously so mad about this that I feel like screaming but I wont because I know it wont change anything. But dang it if I'm still here when my daughter is a teenager I plan to push my through some people and tell them what a huge mistake this is. I hope that this is never one of my girls and I know she screwed up and I know what she did was wrong and she should have waited, believe me I wished often that I had. But Shit happens.... Ok that is all I can say on the issue with out loosing my cool any more than I have.

Starting to like Obama

So although nothing to much is happening with immigration you can see Obamas people have taken over the government. (Ok I know its not like that but kind of is) Anyway he apparently gave regulation of Tobacco over to the FDA. Do you have any idea how long the FDA have been trying to get their hands on Tobacco. Well now they have it and are getting running start. I know this because my sister was going to send me some clove cigarettes that I wanted from the States. My husband and I are not smokers but like to have an occasional clove cig on the weekends here and there. A pack would have lasted us a few months. Anyway my sister wrote today to say that all flavored cigarettes have been band from being sold in the US. This was due to studies showing that most people that smoked them were under the age of 25 and many of them thought they were better for them than normal cigarettes. Anyway here are some links. And although I'm a little bummed that I didn't get my cloves I'm glad that things are moving in a good direction up north.

http://www.fda.gov/TobaccoProducts/GuidanceComplianceRegulatoryInformation/FlavoredTobacco/default.htm
http://www.momlogic.com/2009/09/fda_bans_sale_of_flavored_cigarettes.php

10 Good things about Mexico

I know that so often I'm complaining or grumping about things in Mexico. Recently I have read a few blogs where people were talking of the things they love about Mexico. And I don't mean blogs of those who are retired here and have enough money to live as they please. Don't get me wrong I like their blogs also but it is for sure different when your making and living on pesos. Some of the things that may seem romantic or what not are down right annoying. Se there I go again the point is that when I read those blogs where people list the things they like I find myself shaking my head yes and being like, yeah me to. So here it is here is my list.

1)I do love that the tiendas are all over, we have one on the main floor of the building we live in, and because the owner is also the owner of our apartment we get to keep a tab. So no need to fret if you have no cash. It amazes me how much stuff they can fit in those little stores. Its like going to Walgreens, even if your thinking they prob wont have what your going for most likely it will be there. Or they will tell you that the one across the street has what your looking for. Although I'm sure I would loss some weight if ours wasn't open all the time. It doesn't close till about 1030 I love it. After we get the girls to bed we will often sneak down for a little snack. A good example is last night I was partly through cooking dinner and realized I needed more ingredients. All I had to do was put everything on low heat and run downstairs for what I needed.

2)People watching is totally accepted, and everyone does it. (Kinda freaked me out when I first got here, I'm a watcher but wasn't use to being watched) Now I love it.

3)Anything (and I do mean anything) can be fixed for very cheap. So far we have had like three watch faces replaced, and one watch that fossil told my husband was broke and couldn't be fixed is now in working order and like brand new.

4)Anything (and I do mean anything) can be sold out of your house or on the street. If your crafty or like to cook you can make some cash on the side. I have found that a lot of the fads from my youth are still in style here. For example the hemp style knotted necklaces and bracelets, are going like crazy. So my hippy days are finally paying off.

5)Most people don't get worked up over things that people would freak about in the states. examples bugs (this one kinda bugs me, hee hee), children being brought to work, children running or screaming or crying through a store ext ext. Kids are everywhere and are usually acting like kids and no one cares. Seriously you will seldom walk into a tienda where the owners children are not playing in the floor.

6)Its ok to just sit somewhere and do nothing, actually its expected when your at a relatives house. Sometimes they don't even talk they just hang out all day long.

7)People do your dishes when they are at your house, sure your expected to return the favor but for some reason doing someone else dishes doesn't seem to be as much of a burden. At first I thought this was just something Issacs family did (and I was sure they thought I was a slob and was trying to clean up after me) but the more we have people over the more I find its everyone. I'm curious to if this is just in our area or if this is a Mexican culture as a whole type of thing.

8)So I have to say it... The Food.. how can you have a great things about Mexico list with out the food. Come on people... in Mexico you can get a hotdog wrapped in bacon out on the street on almost every block. Or a Shrimp burger, which is totally made of shrimp, my first order of this I was expecting a burger with a couple tiny shrimp on it. NO we are talking a bunch of big shrimp and you get almost more meat than you do on a hamburger. Speaking of Mariscos oh the soup they make with all the chunks of yummy seafood and tomatoes and lime (not sure what all is in it really )So food could be a post of its own and Ill leave that up to other blogs who do such a great job of it like the The Mija Chronicles and Recipes by Leslie. Sorry I haven't quite figures out how o put links in. Someone care to inform me?

9)Trash pick up is almost every morning. The only days it doesn't come is Sunday and Wednesday. And when you have a ton of stuff there is always a neighbor standing by to help. You actually kind of get to know the neighbors through trash pick up time. Everyone gives a cheer hello and good morning (or evening depending on what time they come by your house).

10)I actually love the greeting and leaving practices. Its so welcoming to get a big hug and peck on the cheek when going to families house. And even when visiting friends you get at least a one arm hug and usually a peck on the cheek. Iv always been a hands on hugging type of person Again going back to the my hippy days coming back lol me and my friends were always greeting and leaving with a hug. So this is second nature to me. I actually missed it a lot as I got older and found that for most of the world this was not ok. Although I did find some friends from my old church who were happy to greet me this way. (wink wink Samantha) I have had a little trouble deciphering the types of kisses and how strong to hug but for the most part people don't look at me strangely if I mess this up.

Well to be honest that took me a while and I had to think about it. But I found that as I thought of these things it made me happier to be where I am. So I am going to make an effort to not only notice the things I love about this country but to also write them down so I can go back to them when I feel discouraged.

Oh I just thought of another one that I actually read about on another blog. I love that you get to see people riding there horses and donkeys through town. My daughter still gets a kick out of it every time and will come yelling, "mommy look horses." And sometimes I have to say," well honey that ones a donkey." And the funny thing is I'm just as excited about watching them as she is.

See this is working already. ;)

Sin una Fombra

I hope I said that right. lol So I'm finally giving up on my rugs. When I moved here and the many times visiting previous to moving here I hated that everything was tile. Where was I suppose to sit and play with my baby? And I don't like wearing shoes but I also don't like having cold feet, yes I know what a picky person. When we first got here my oldest daughter was almost 2, she celebrated her 2nd birthday 3 weeks after we moved. And of course at that time there is a lot of playing on the floor. We had a much larger apartment then and it didn't seem a big deal to clean around the rugs and to sweep the rugs. We looked everywhere for a vacuum and the only thing we could find was a shop vac type of thing. So we bought it and because its a major pain to vacuum rugs this way it only happened every so often. But to tell the truth I'm a shedder and my hair is everywhere. So the rugs would get hair balls, Yummm, right? Ok but with a 2 year old its not a big deal except she is scared of fuzzies of any kind and would scream like a spider bit her when she encountered one. Honestly this would always give me a good laugh and was not a reason to git rid of my rugs. I learned quickly why people don't have rugs in Mexico but I didn't care I was keeping mine even if it meant having to shake them out off the roof frequently to git rid of all the dirt. And that is what I have done for a year and three months. Well my youngest daughter is now six months old and will soon be all over the place. Already when I lay her on a blanket on top of the rug she will have a hair ball in her hand and of course strait to her mouth before I can turn around. With my oldest daughter I combated this issue with a play mat that was inside a huge gate type thing(this was when we were living in the States). Both of which we cant afford this time around. So its time to get creative and no longer rely on money. The other bad thing about the rugs is that it makes it hard to move furniture and clean behind it well (we now are in a much smaller apartment than when we first came). This is only an issue because our couch is high enough off the floor that I can see the baby crawling under it in a couple months. So part of my baby proofing is to git rid of the hair ball rugs. This will make cleaning my house a lot easier but might mean... I HAVE TO WEAR SOCKS IN MY HOUSE THIS WINTER. (and the crowd gasps with disbelief) Yes I know I will live through it and it is nothing compared to some of the other things I have started to get use to. I still have rugs in our bedroom and as long as my feet have even a few steps to wake up in the morning before I step on cold tile I think I can do this. So now the baby will be placed on a blanket but if she gets off of it I know the worst is a short face plant to the tile and no choking on hair balls or rolling her face on carpet that needs to be vacuumed. Im use to moping everyday so that is no big deal.

I'm curious to how my fellow Americans living in Mexico adjusted to all the tile. It seems kind of a silly thing but seriously I missed my carpet and I think if I could remember it (because even the rugs were not the same) I still would. Please comment about that.

Need to work

When my husband and I first started dating we were discussing marriage. Poor guy, the first night he expressed interest I said, "I like you but you need to know, I only date for marriage now, I'm sick of dating." He agreed that he could look at our relationship that way. So before we were even engaged I told him that, I want a lot of kids but don't want to stay home with them. That if we decide that one of us is to stay at home with them it would have to be him. As some of you may know I am a nurse. And not just in the work place but it really is who I am.
Now almost five years later and I'm sitting home all day with my two beautiful daughters. So many people tell me to enjoy this time with them, and I do. I play all day and get to do my crafts, and my blog, and kind of what ever I want. Aside from the fact that I'm in a country that I still after over a year cant speak the language fluently. I suppose language just isn't my skill. I love getting to hang with my girls. I seriously need a break from them though. I feel like I never get a day off. Hanging out with them isn't like being off work because that is my work now. I think I'm going to leave them at home with my husband on his next day off and just go sit at a park for a few hours. Or just walk around town or go downtown or something. Who knows but it will be nice to be alone. You know what even the first day I had to drop off my first daughter to the babysitter I didn't feel that regret or sadness so many women talk about. I was excited to get to work. I think I drove a little fast that first week just to get there. Sure I loved picking her up at the end of the day and at that point I realized that I had missed her but it was totally worth it. Does this make me a bad mom I don't know. I love my kids and will always give them all the love and affection they need but I can do that after a work day also. I want to work. I don't think I can explain to you how strongly I feel about my carrier. Iv worked most of my life in health care and its what I love its what I do and its who I am. Am I happy, sure I am. I'm living under the same roof as my husband and he gets to see our babies every day. That is worth anything. But Iv been lead to believe there might be a chance for me to work, and have my husband in the same country. Not here but in Canada.
Sure I could work in Mexico if I got the work permit. But I don't want to "just" work. Thats not what its ever been about for me. Id rather stay at home with my girls if I was to get any job. But to work as a nurse again that is what I want.
And so I have been applying for work in Canada. So far nothing has come up. I hadn't posted about it yet because there is really nothing to say yet. Supposedly I'm to have an interview soon but who knows. Although I'm trying not to hold my breath I frequently find myself exhaling after. I didn't take this rout before because the whole idea of dealing with an immigration system just makes me sick. And it still does but I often find myself almost in tears when I see nurses. And so my need to work, or to be working as a nurse is going to win over the nervousness. Its time to try and time to look.
Well wish me luck and pray for my nerves. They are already out of control just thinking about the whole immigration thing and the what ifs. Gees cant I just give it a rest and act like a Mexican for once in my life.

opportunistic little creeps

I realize I haven't bloged in what is a long time for me. But Iv been a little stressed out actually. Its funny because it seems like when your busy you think Oh that would be a fun thing to blog about. But then you never get the time to type it up. So honestly I cant even be sure what all Iv been doing. My English classes are weekly and I still only have one of the students. But shes here every week although shes always late. Sometimes even and hour or so, I even made the class an hour later and she still comes late. She is learning English because she wants to go to the states and I think I need to tell her soon, that in the states its considered rude to be that late for things. Other than that they are going well.
So back to the title of this post. Cockroaches...need I say more... Oh yes I do need to say more... Mexican Cockroaches or you could say Cockroaches in Mexico. They are freaking impossible. Ok so here is my little sad story. I clean with bleach, we spray for bugs, we have screens on all our windows. Well do you want to know what happened. Here I'm all excited because its been a few weeks since Iv seen even one bug in my kitchen or living room. Whoo Hooo so I'm a candidate for The Mom or Spouse of the year award right...
Big fat NO. (Wish I could make that no bigger)
My daughter kept getting little bumps on her torso. Almost like a rash but to random. Finlay it dawned on me to check for bed bugs. I mean they happen right sometimes even to people in the states. We change her sheets almost two times a day depending on how often she pees the bed but I thought what the heck better check anyway and go with my instincts. (I just typed insects instead of instincts, is there a such thing as Freudian typing errors?) Ok so I go in her room and raise her mattress. If you get squeamish don't read the next part. (no its not really that bad). I saw a momma roach and two babies. After further inspection there was a daddy and a couple other babies. They were all on the wooden frame. I flipped out. Seriously I almost threw up, and cried for at least a couple hours. Geesss was the mom award that important you may ask. Well yes to me it was even though it was only in my head. What made it worse was the night before Alana had yelled for me to come in her room and said a bug was on her leg. I did a quick look in the dark and told her to lay down and go to sleep. (I'm seriously cringing as I relay that memory) So there now you know why the award was snatched form under me. My husband takes it all in stride when he gets home we move the bed to the roof and spray the heck out of it. An I checked everything that was under the bed and nothing else had any bugs. I searched and searched trying to find out why this happened. Well apparently if they don't have enough food to eat in the normal places aka. my kitchen then they will try to find it on sleeping humans. Usually you see the nibbles around the mouth and hands but we wash her mouth and hands well every night. Also they were not actually biting her apparently but trying to eat something off her and would accidentally get the skin. The only thing I can assume is that they were going for the moisture from the urine. Yuck Yuck Yuck double yuck. Bugs on my baby in her sleep . AHHHHHHHHHH....Did I say Yuck, and how freaking sad. Ok So maybe I'm still freaking out when I think of it. Gee this was like a week ago and I'm totally not over it. So this week we are again going to take the bed out and spray spray spray in case there were any eggs. So its a catch 22 if you clean to much in the kitchen be sure to watch your beds. My husband kept telling me the same thing I told a fellow bloger, that it wasn't me it was Mexico but that's a huge pill to swallow.
So then a couple days after this I had done the dishes and left them in the drying rack on the counter. The next morning I found a mama and some babies clinging to the bottom of my drainer. That thing only sits there when there is dishes in it and hadn't been on the counter more than 10hours when I moved it. Dang they move in and have babies awfully fast. We have now added roach houses to our arsenal and put them where the girls cant get to them.
I hate these gross stupid bugs and it gave me a little satisfaction to get to kill the ones that were in Alanas bed but not enough. Sigh... my poor baby.
I actually was telling a friend ( who is Mexican) about it and she was so not mortified by it like I was. And then I knew I will always be so American. Some things I will never see as a normal thing.