Sunday, September 27, 2009

A better perspective

So aside from my previous rant I have been trying hard to put my life in a more positive perspective. And honestly I have but I have not written about it. Thanks to this lovely post by Bob I am going to.
I try my hardest not to complain out loud about a lot of stuff about being here because I can see the pain in my husbands eyes when I do. I do of course talk to him about things when its necessary but I think this is why my blog sometimes takes a negative turn. But this is going to change and I plan to show the whole picture.
Don't get me wrong I'm not going to try to paint over things that are real and true and/or only show people the good, but I do need to show people the good.
I'm going to start with my husband, warning this may be absolutely mushy so don't read on if you cant handle it. lol Well first of all my husband still mentions to me often how happy and blessed he feels that I chose to move here with him. I often wake up to him moving the hair out of my face as he prays over me in the mornings before he goes to work. He knows my struggles of being a stay at home mom and prays for me for it. When we first got married my husband was closed up tight and was so hard to truly get down deep with. After our 2 years of living in different countries and us going through some turmoil he is now ready and willing to talk to me about how he feels. And he often recognizes without me telling him if he regresses to not being open. When I was pregnant with Joslin our second daughter he read a book called, The Expectant Father. It told him what I was going through in my body, the best way to respond, and it helped him to know that others had felt how he was feeling. It was so good and it kept us so close during my pregnancy, labor, and after the baby. My husband does his best to find us a babysitter so we can go out just us and sometimes with friends. He agrees with me that our relationship comes before our children and through this our kids will grow up in strong home. He helps me to think of romantic ways to spend an evening at home if that is all we can do and most of the time these nights are better than going out. We do a bible study together and do our best to do it on a nightly basis. No matter what hes doing if Im the one that remembers he drops what he has going on and sits down with me. This shows me how he cares about our relationship and keeping God as our number one. Its so nice to have him around. During the time we were living apart often I cried a lone and this is no longer necessary. He actually gets upset if I try to go into a different room and hide my tears. He wants me to have him near to hold me and help me through what ever I'm going through. Anything I go through here is worth just this alone. To have someone who loves you hold you through your tears is so perfect. I still feel like a newlyweed even after almost 5years. I know that is not a long time but we have been through a lot in that first 5 years. He still tells me how gorgeous I am to him, sometimes more than once a day. And is always close by for a kiss or a hug for no reason. (ok I told you it would get mushy)
As a father my husband exceeds all my expectations. He reads all the books I read about our daughters and the ages they are in. He helps with any projects we have for our 3 yr old. Even after working all day he helps to feed, change, bath, and put my girls to bed. And when I say put my girls to bed they get a book (sometimes 2) and a song every night. Some nights he does the whole routine and not only that sometimes he tells me to sit out (and I do the same at times). On top of all this he loves it and it shows. This fills my heart with so much joy it feels it could burst. Right now he is playing X-Box with his cousin but the baby is between his legs playing with toys while he bounces her from leg to leg because she cant sit up on her own totally. And the 3 yr old is climbing on his shoulders and laughing out loud when ever he and his cousin do.
When I read the verse about God providing more than we could ever dream I think of my husband. Seriously before we met a bible study leader encouraged me to write down what I wanted in my husband and to be honest about it. He told me to pray over this and that I would be surprised one day. I did this and prayed over it for a year or so and was dating someone that I tried to make it fit to. That relationship didn't work. After my husband asked me to marry him I pulled this list out of my bible and realized he fit it to a tee. He was not only what I wrote down but what I meant when I wrote it. I have him the list because I didn't need it anymore. I'm so thankful for my husband. So if anyone ever wonders why I live in Mexico I will just send them to this post.


  1. Amanda, you are an 'authentic' blogger, and you write your feelings intensely...whether positive or negative, and people can relate to them. It's good to be reminded of those happy things in our lives and write about them, which you do...don't be too hard on yourself, sometimes we need to write about the frustrations too!

    Your hubby sounds sweet, hold onto him!

  2. Good for you Amanda! You see? God has already rewarded you for your faith with a wonderful husband and life partner. I think that God has big plans for the both of you. Let me ask you something. Have you ever thought about becoming a public health nurse? You seem to care very much about people, especially young women. If you are married to a Mexican national you should be able to apply for permanent residency status, no? Then you should be able to work as a nurse or whatever you want unless I am badly mistaken. In any case I am very proud of you. Onward ever, backward NEVER!

  3. You are very very lucky.

    it's funny... about i dont even remember 5, 6,.. maybe 7 years ago i was reading this book about success and there was a part that said to write down where you see yourself in 5 years. i forgot all about it, and as i packed for my move to Mexico i found the notbook it was in and i had all this stuff listed about how i wanted to travel and i wanted to have a pig and a chicken and all this stuff... and i wanted to relax in the sun.. all sorts of stuff. Then i was in mexico with my pig and chicken laying in my hammock. it was so wonderful.

  4. Well said, Amanda! Moving to Mexico might not have been in your life's plans, but you made the decision to do so. Not many would and not many do. (Reminds me a bit of Refried Dreamers post yesterday!) Anyway, the fact that you did, is so amazing to your husband. Isaac is very aware of the sacrifice you made and is thankful that you did so. And even though you are faced with adversity at times because of the different culture and language, your life is SO much richer. All of your lives are.

    I for one, am so glad that you are trying to see the "brighter" side of life here. Believe me, it helps and makes things much easier. Blessings to you and Isaac!

  5. I totally understand how you feel and what you are going through. It is sometimes so hard to focus on the good things around us. Especially here in Mexico when everything is done very differently from home. And here in Tulum we also have the HUGE mix of yet another culture (the Maya) that is completely different then the Mexicans around. It is a fine line to walk.

    My friend told me when I moved to Mexico... "If you focus on the things the things from the states that you cannot find you will be miserable. But if you focus on the fact that you just bought 2 pineapples for a dollar you will be much happier."

    Not always easy to do but yeah... that is pretty much all we can do. I do agree though that the glasses we look at the world through will tint what we see. So we need to wear rose colored glasses.

  6. I loved this post :) Not too mushy for me, it's beautiful.

    And - I made one of those lists too! About 3 months before I met my husband, forgot all about it, and then one day after we were together I took it out and just about flipped. :) I shared it with him a few times in the beginning when he used to doubt why I would stay with him. Such a cool thing. :)

  7. I made a list for my husband too! seriously. About 1-2 months before I met him.

  8. I really enjoyed this post Amanda! You are very blessed to have such a wonderful hubby and beautiful babies! I'm glad that you are looking at things as a whole, instead of nitpicking the little things, as we always tend to do, and are grateful for what you DO have... a wonderful relationship, healthy children, and a bond that will never be replaced. I'm very happy for you!

  9. Leah-"dong be to hard on yourself" is something Iv heard a lot. lol Maybe someday I will listen.
    Bob- I would love love love to be a public health nurse. But my Spanish is still pretty basic. I can communicate well now on a daily basis and can pretty much take care of anything without my hubby as a translator. But as far as explaining medical/health/prevention/ext. type of things I just cant do it yet. I have tried a few times with friends and family and often times find myself stuck and frustrated. Your right I am extremely passionate about people and care for them which makes it even more frustrating when I get stuck due to my lack of language ability. If I ever feel my skill with Spanish is up to par believe me I will be applying for such a position.
    Adelina-Gringa-and heather- Thats awesome that you had lists to. What a great reminder that God hears our hearts.
    Mama- Amen sister.
    Leslie- Thank you and I hope to fallow your lead with your ever smiling face and comfort with this country.
    Tulum-its so true about not focusing on things you miss about the states. I decided this about 3or4 months after moving here then a couple months ago my family asked what I wanted from there that I couldn't get here, I actually had to sit down and really think about it. lol
    Dreamer-like Leslie this means a lot coming from you because you have met my family. Oh and your last post helped to inspire the fact that this one was about my hubby.