Monday, October 20, 2008
After Issac left.
Starting immediately after my husband’s departure, I struggled with waves of depression and long periods of weeping. I was 9 months pregnant at the time, and sick with grief. I had to call in to work ill frequently. I now know what it means to lose one’s will to go on. My obstetrician put me on Prozac to help reduce my depression. It was now three weeks until my due date. I was incapacitated and without the love of my life to help me. Even now as I write this, I cry when I think of the devastation that I felt. Words on a page will never be enough to express to you what this did to me. The night I went into labor, I was lying on the couch waiting for Issac to get on the webcam for our nightly visit. Just as I lay down, I felt my water breaking. I am not a panicky person, so I got up and went to the bathroom to see what had happened. After I realized my water had broken, I needed a towel. But, there was not one in the bathroom. Because I was home alone, I had to run to my room to get a towel. Needless to say I then had to clean up the mess I had just made. This was a very scary and confusing time for me. After my water broke, I had to leave my apartment in an extremely uncomfortable state, with a towel between my legs, and stand in the hallway waiting for my neighbor to answer the door. Instead of my neighbor answering some of her friends came to the door, making my situation even more uncomfortable. The neighbor drove me to the hospital and, fortunately, several friends met me there. One of my friends called the childerns home in Mexico where Issac was working and told them I was in labor. Issac was not there at the time and called me later on.