Slowing down July 18th 08

So as you all know (I think) my life before coming here was insane hectic. I was managing a 50 bed unit and a Neurodiagnostics unit at one of the biggest hospitals in the states, doing all house maintenance and taking caring care of Alana with little assistance. With out any other details you can understand that my mind and body was use to going 90 miles a min. This is why I was nervous about the whole house wife thing. I was afraid of the need and thrill I get from being busy. Well Im finding that this is just right, and my thrills come from other things. I am actually able to relax and spend "quality" time with my family. I found out today what that meant and I look forward to more revelations that are similar. While Alana was eating her breakfast and I was having my coffee it dawned on me that I was strictly paying attention to her. This may not seem like a huge revelation but were talking about someone who seriously has a hard time not multitasking. If Im not having more than one conversation I get board and begin one with myself in my head. Or if my hands are busy and not my eyes then there must be something around to read. And if Im not multitasking I tend to feel anxious, or distracted and unable to focus. So Iv been here what 3 weeks now and I find myself sipping my coffee and watching Alana eat. Im thinking of nothing else just how beautiful she is (and have you ever noticed how someone glows when they can tell they are your only focus, not the main focus but the only.) Gosh I pray that God will allow me to stay home with all of my children until they are all in school. Im gonna love this new section of my life. She is so amazing.